Father Time's Place

Good Times At the Place

2011-09-08T19:59:00.000-07:00

Enjoy!

	John Mayall - Good Times Boogie .mp3

	Found at bee mp3 search engine

Yard Work - Part Two: Armegedon

2011-06-12T14:59:00.000-07:00

And The Trees Come Tumbling Down

Here's where we started - a nicely landscaped back yard with big silver maples. Granted, they are still wearing their winter coat of barren branches, but when summer arrives, the leaves provide us with much needed shade, especially since this is the West facing side of our home. We knew it was going to be a sad couple of days as these majestic trees joined their friends in tree heaven.

For two days, chain saws sawed, branch grinders ground, while a crazy man in a hydraulic bucket rained heavy chunks of wood down on my neatly manicured lawn leaving mini bomb craters all over.

Bonneville Aftermath
After a crew of 9 "Natural Resource Specialists" (aka unemployed loggers) had finished, a total of seven trees were downed so they would not endanger the precious power lines that pass approximately 300 feet over our property.

Battle Fatigue
Things are quiet now. Sawdust covers my house and workshop. My dog LB looks at me with the battle weary eyes of a tired combat veteran. My other dog Joey is employing a little known stress reduction technique - nibbling his front paws for hours. I'm drinking fermented grape juice and suppressing anarchistic thoughts.

All is well.

Yard Work - Part One: Redesigning Your Property For Free

2011-06-08T10:55:00.003-07:00

The title says it all!
Now, doesn't this sound exciting? If you're into piles of wood, stumps, and mounds of duff (wood chips mixed with dirt and chunks of root) then you've come to the right place.
My hope is those who love sawdust don't even know this blog exists. But since our backyard has undergone such a drastic change, those "insiders" whose names begin with "J" will have a permanent record of an exceptional non-event in the life of their mother (whose first name coincidentally also begins with "J".)

The Arrival of Bonneville's hit man.
His name is Carlos and he's very polished and suave. He explains their new policy now excludes trimming branches under power lines and only includes total annihilation of trees living happily underneath. It does not matter their power lines are about 200 feet over our yard and that no tree would ever grow that high. No, no, that's way too logical. Since they have the legal right-of-way, we can only watch as our beautiful backyard becomes the latest clear-cut in Oregon. (Luckily, we have tons of them in our National Forests so we won't have to deal with campers and tourists at all hours!)

To Be Continued
The next installment will deal with the exciting (and epic) adventures of Father Time-Urban Forester as he navigates the eccentricities and mine-bending complexities of a Federal Government Agency. (Note to Homeland Security: I am old, weak, and helpless; a veteran, a true patriot, and devoted centrist. Do not fear me. That's my kid's job.)

Like Daughter, Like Father

2011-05-27T17:05:00.000-07:00

So Why Get Back In The Water Now?
1. Daughter Jessica starts her own blog.
2. Copy cat Dad follow suit because he has to do something between rain squalls.
3. Camera is working great and has higher resolution than my old one so photos will be awesome even though the subject will be less than epic.
4. Garden needs a regular progress report to prove that we can actually grow things besides crab grass, wild onions, and poison mushrooms.
5. Dog pics should enliven otherwise drab posts.
6. I get to use cool words like epic, awesome, and lech.
7. Time for wine. Bye!

Friends

2011-01-21T10:49:00.000-08:00

There are times when seniors actually have fun. Life is not all about doctors' appointments and getting prescriptions filled. Some of us even drink alcoholic beverages - in moderation. Just enough to insure the next morning is something we can look forward to.

In my humble opinion, this is the best way to start off 2011.

Whoops - Forgot the Annual P-38 Post

2010-03-30T08:25:00.002-07:00

Correcting a Grievous Error

My last post, which in essence said "Goodbye", contained a monumental error. I failed to follow though on my long held tradition of honoring the finest WWII airplane that had two engines - the Lockheed P-38 Lightening. I consider that error corrected.

Goodbye From Father Time

2010-03-30T07:33:00.004-07:00

No Time Left For Blogging
For the past six months, It's been obvious there were not enough hours in the day to do everything I want to do. When I first retired I was immersed in reading and researching topics and areas of interest I had neglected during my working years. The more I learned the more I realized how little I really knew about things I considered important. Right now with a large home to care for, woodworking projects that never seem to reach the finished stage, Mount Jefferson calling me to come and visit again, and a changing world in general, I finally realized some activities were going to have to go by the wayside. Unfortunately, one of those activities is this blog.

Maybe But No Promises
I may return someday. If my health ever deteriorates to the point that I'm not able to do all this physical stuff, I will probably find my way back to "the place" and start writing here again. Right now this blog reminds me of a home that is half built and then abandoned. (I'm sure some would suggest that it's more like a chicken coup than a house!)

With that half-hearted promise and hat in hand, I'm going to grab my fly rod and head on down the road.

Time To Get Back Here

2010-01-24T09:47:00.001-08:00

I know it has been awhile but spare time has been a luxury for the past six months. Things are a little more calm now and I should have some time to post a few things of interest to those who follow my chaotic life style.

See you soon!

Wherein Father Time Does Manual Labor Part 2

2009-07-20T06:50:00.004-07:00

So I prevaricated
Yes, the workload was more than I expected and yes - today is not the tomorrow I promised in Part 1. Please send your Notice of intent to file a tort claim directly to me by e-mail. It will be dealt with accordingly.

The landscape designer arrives
Our co-conspirator on the yard project is an outstanding former horticulture professor at our local university. Upon his arrival we chatted for a few minutes about our ideas for the area which is dominated by a huge silver maple. The spot measures approximately 30'x30' and features some massive Anaconda-like roots (which are normal for the infamously shallow-rooted silver maple.)

Said landscape designer pulls out a 5-gallon pail for a stool and proceeds to sketch out, to scale, a plan featuring an amazing array of shade-tolerant, shallow-rooted plants. Examples - a strawberry tree, blue fescue, hostas, thyme, seddum, and several Latin named plants of mysterious origin.

When he left, I had a master plan and two weeks for implementation.

The root of the problem
The first order of business was digging out a pathway from one side to the other without encountering any mammoth roots. Mission accomplished? Nope! This root (partly visible in this picture) was right in the middle of the sweeping designer curve, so using landscaper terminology, it became a "natural feature." Isn't that special!

So where do we go from here?
Part 3 will feature our attempts at planting scrubs and flowers in the weed infested area. Be assured a good time will be had by all right after we're released from the hospital for heat exhaustion. Just kidding. I hope.

Wherein Father Time Does Manual Labor Part 1

2009-07-03T17:28:00.003-07:00

The Set Up
In an earlier post I mentioned my daughter and her fiance are getting married in Father and Ms Time's backyard. Normally, that would be a great idea given that Oregon summers are usually warm and toasty, and contrary to populist myth, are usually rain free. So far, no problem.

The Problem
The area where they plan on making their grand entrance is adjacent to a much-neglected piece of land formerly landscaped with a water feature and a couple of rose bushes. Due to time constraints and my penchant for fishing and hiking, the area was covered in ivy with the water feature buried beneath, and is home to a variety of unsavory pests and reptiles. OK so they're not that bad - a garter snake, two salamanders, and some truly awesome slugs. Yuk!

At any rate, the ivy is now history, or it's at least gone underground, (Hah!) and all animal life transported to new digs in an empty field with a nice cool creek next door. So far so good.

Enter The Landscape Architect.
Those of you who can't tolerate tales from the crypt, or photographs of water boarding, or televised gall bladder operations, should stop reading now and move on to a blog describing Adolph Hitler's last hours. Father Time in his infinite wisdom (see previous post) hired a local landscape designer to share his thoughts on how we should proceed with our now bald and craterd land.

To be continued tomorrow. I promise. I need a beer.

Father Time Dinks Around With The Metaphysical

2009-07-03T16:50:00.002-07:00

Time is not finite

Isn't that awesome? I read it in a book for intellectuals. While I was at our local library (the one run by Buddhists), I "borrowed" the book from a shelf marked "Intellectuals Only". It was written in bold gold Sanskrit surrounded by dragons. On second thought it might have been for "Ineffectuals Only" . Actually I'm not sure. My Sanskrit is a little rusty.

What I am sure of is it was printed in Sanskrit, a language in which I used to be relatively fluent. Sanskrit employs an unusual alphabet which makes it a difficult language to master. My mentor was a special forces Sergeant who taught foreign languages at Louisiana State University during the Korean conflict. It was a crash course intended to help us with master escape and evasion tactics if we were ever captured by Buddhist terrorists. There were hundreds of them in the swamps of Louisiana.

But I digress.

Time is an either or proposition

It doesn't get any better than this.

Take, for example, an automobile driving at 85 mph. Behind that car is another car poking along at 75 mph. The driver of the first car is happy knowing he's going to arrive at his destination ahead of the car behind. But the lapsed time difference between the two cars when they arrive at their common 25 mile destination is only 30 seconds.

The moral of this story? Both drivers broke the law and deserve to do time.

Is Father Time losing it?

Absolutely not. In fact, he's just found it!

The Blog Is Not Dead; The Proprietor Is Just Tired

2009-06-28T20:53:00.002-07:00

Nothing more, nothing less. Facebook and Twitter may be better for communications but this is my toy and my place to play.

Enjoy!

The Music Critic's Corner

2009-05-06T16:29:00.005-07:00

Ever heard Dilmon Ivory play the piano?

He is absolutely amazing. In fact, "amazing" is far too mild an adjective to describe Ivory's music. In fact, there are no words to adequately describe the way this man plays the piano.

For starters, let's break down his repertoire. He plays the music of one composer - Dilmon Ivory. It's as if there's an unrestricted flow of music from his brain to his hands. Nothing is written or planned in advance. He starts playing and the music ends when he's too tired to play anymore or that part of his brain that spawns (or maybe "regurgitates") the music finally runs out of gas.

Basically, there's no harmony or rhythm to be heard

Let's talk about the melodies incorporated into his compositions. There are none, absolutely none!

How about key and time signatures; what key is it written in and how many beats per measure? Zero, nada! None whatsoever.

So what do we have?

Technique. Unbelievable, unimaginable dexterity and speed.

When it comes to technique, he's on a par with great pianists like Rachmaninoff, Beethoven, Chopin, or Mozart. In every other category however, he couldn't water for them. He possesses no knowledge of composition or music theory. What he hears in his head he somehow transmits to his piano keys. Whether this is some kind of mental illness, or he just possesses a weird skill is open to question. No one to my knowledge has ever demonstrated this kind of unearthly ability; what he does is hard to classify. He just makes his fingers fly over the keys in ways that are impossible to describe.

All I can say is you need to hear it once. You'll never forget it!

WOW - Father Time In Hyperdrive Is Killer!

2009-04-22T07:22:00.002-07:00

Putting on the brakes

My absence is not deliberate; maybe semi-deliberate is more accurate. I keep forgetting to put make sure to update my blog on my priority list. More accurately, I consider finding my priority list the #1 item on my priority list. Yes, I know that makes no sense unless you're Father Time. But hey! Retirement is about living life at a less hectic pace, right? For example, priority lists are not shown as an ingredient in relaxation recipes. Go to the Food Network web site and look it up. I kid you not!

Other stuff for relatives and friends

[If you're looking at this blog for the first time, pass on this part. It will make no sense whatsoever.] As if it ever did!

Item #1 - Daughter and prospective son-in-law have decided that fiscal conservatism makes more sense than spending money foolishly. Note to Fly. This is not a capitulation or subscription to your wayward political views in any way shape or form. It's just another use for the word "conservatism." You can stop jumping up and down on your Cabela camouflage camping stool now.

So the marriage in Las Vegas, and the honeymoon in Jamaica have been canceled. The new plan is having the wedding and reception at Father and Ms. Time's palatial estate. Note to those who've visited my home before - "palatial" is a classic example of the concept of "using inappropriate bogus adjectives to cover feelings of inadequacy." See Freud's Gone With The Wind, Chapter 13, Par. 12, Line 11.

And there we have it!

So, in one short post, the latest chapter in the life of Father Time. In our next post, we cover item #2 - "Father Time converts the back yard from a forest to an idyllic sight for a wedding." It should be great and will probably be written from a hospital bed using my laptop!

Checking In

2009-03-11T09:06:00.009-07:00

Pant, pant!
I have reached a point in my life where every day is a whirlwind of activity and it HAS to cease!

Fellow retirees have warned me that energy sapping stress replaces fun when one lives a "hurry-hurry rush-rush" focused lifestyle. Being arrogant by nature, I ignored their warnings.

What a horrific price to pay for being bull-headed!

So?
As of April 1st - and that's not a joke - I'm restructuring my life so that more time becomes available for me to do the things I enjoy, like fly-fishing, backpacking, woodworking, reading, and cooking.

Accordingly, some activities will disappear from my life. Sadly, one will be my board role for our local developmentally disabled housing non-profit. My conscience bothered me when I first made this decision, but looking back over almost 35 years of non-profit boards, I feel I've earned a break. Secondly, my Hospice volunteer role will be limited to only one client at a time. Refer to the third sentence in this paragraph for my feelings on that!

And what will I do with all that time?
Well, let's talk fun! For instance, I added a enjoyable task to my To Do list - getting the back forty ready for our daughter's wedding reception in early September. Now that's something I will take on gladly. And as a side benefit, it will feel great to work my butt off while simultaneously getting these old bones in shape for some awesome fall backpacks.

Plus, a hidden benefit is buried in the whole package. For my birthday in about six weeks, I've dropped about a hundred hints on why I need a new small, light-weight camera. It will take great "wedding reception" pictures (and even better backpacking shots.)

Who knows? I may even get a pic or two of some trout to torment my relatives in Michigan and friends in Las Vegas. Yummy, fresh caught, and cooked over an open fire with a little butter and wild onions.

Wouldn't that be evil? Heh, heh!

Souper Sunday aka how to avoid rainy day cabin fever

2009-02-28T09:43:00.005-08:00

Goal - to develop a group project to help mitigate the rainy day blues

In Oregon, when you've spent many hours watching it rain, your brain starts to gather moss and get all mushy. As a potential antidote, Father Time's friends have come up with a partial solution to challenge.

Ingredients

Every other Sunday evening we gather with three other couples for Souper Sunday. Since it's dinner time, the host prepares some sort of hearty soup. Since this a really informal affair, I.E., using everyday china and low-cost wines, the menu is deliberately kept simple - soup, a salad, rustic bread, and dessert. No frills, no fancy finger foods, and really disgusting manners after the third glass of wine.

The Result

Bottom line (after all I'm a retired banker) - a great Sunday, a nice way to wrap up the weekend, and minimal discussion of the weather. On the negative side of the coin however, is discussion of the current economy. Typically, someone requests a nice cordial to wrap up the evening and suddenly the economy unimportant until Monday morning's CNBC news.

Not bad. Not bad at all!

Too Fast, Too Slow, or Just Lazy?

2009-02-25T07:44:00.001-08:00

The Usual Lame Excuses

To say that things have been crazy around here is an understatement. The good news is that I've not encountered some devastating disease or horrible impairment. The reality is I've been overloaded with a huge "to do" list (of my own making) that covers everything from simple errands to a renovating of my back yard so it looks "mature" in time for my daughter's wedding. In between are the usual Hospice patients and some non-profit board activity. Backpacking? Someday maybe.

So those are my excuses. Let it not be said that I can't be creative under pressure. Maybe I should have been a litigator.

So Now What?

I'll have some pictures of (1) the recent flood devastation in the state of Washington, (2) the destruction of my well-engineered deer fence after it was attacked (wrecked?) by some hungry apple-seeking deer, and (3) the wreckage at the back of my property after the BPA removed some fir trees that were endangering (their word, not mine) their 200 foot high power lines on the adjoining neighbor's property.

Anyone want some fire wood?

The Plan For 2009

2009-01-17T08:43:00.002-08:00

Phantom Father Time

It's been a while since my last post, but worry not my friends. A huge amount of cognitive restructuring has been occurring upstairs and creating enough heat to keep downstairs comfortable. I'm becoming a self-contained heat pump. That's energy efficiency in action!

Notice I'm thinking green this year? A new administration calls for a new approach to viewing the future. Like any good citizen, I'm forging ahead with positive intentions. (Let's not tarry long in this vein since logically I should follow that comment with a political opinion, and as we all know, that would result in the death of a perfectly good blog.)

If the shoe fits, wear it!

And Now The Plan

First, let's catalog everything that's on the list:

1.) Finish the media room. Isn't it fun what you can do with your house when all the kids have moved out?

2.) Celebrate my 70th birthday on May 1st. Seems like it popped up 20 years too soon!

3.) Turn my long-delayed backpacking trip to Mount Jefferson into reality. If the snow melts in a timely manner, this should happen in late May.

4.) Whip the back forty into shape for the next item on the list.

5.) Celebrate my daughter's marriage with an Autumn reception to be held in our back yard. Now this will be almost as much fun as the Mount Jefferson trip! (Am I in trouble here?)

6.) Start the planning for Phase II of the kitchen remodel.

7.) Build a Shaker end table for a friend.

8.) Add cabinets in my workshop to help control the creeping blight of tools, sawdust, and wood in waiting.

9.) Enjoy watching the stock market turn around in the 4th quarter.

10.) Get my bi-annual physical followed by reading two books on Eastern Philosophy. This is one item I semi-dread.

Disclaimer

This list can be modified at any time since I'm in the unique position of having 50% of my life under control.

Father Time Gets Busted

2008-12-20T17:19:00.006-08:00

Here's To Honesty In Journalism
In an earlier post entitled Father Time Needs A Break I intimated (in a light-hearted way - hint hint), that a rat's nest of tangled lights constituted my holiday lighting endeavors.

Unbelievably, one of my neighbors surfaced as a closet reader of my blog and chided me for my less-than-honest approach! So, for those who live some distance from me, and in the interest of full disclosure and compliance with obscure Federal laws known only to unemployed attorneys, I am forced to reveal to the world that my Scrooge disguise is bogus, and deep inside Father Time resides a small child who lives for the Holidays!

Extra Added Bonus!
For those in Michigan, Florida, Nevada, New Mexico, and Virginia, please note the abundance of snow. For the Michigan crowd, the little dribble of snow should cause you to erupt in gales of laughter. (I can hear you now; "And you call THAT snow?") Ok, so it isn't 10 feet deep. It isn't even 10 inches deep. Since I'm posting this as an act of contrition, I truthfully confess that 3" shuts down everything around here and is considered a major catastrophe. Therefore, please send me MRE's this year.

But that's a story for another time (when my neighbor is on vacation.)

Wisdom For The Holidays

2008-12-20T13:19:00.000-08:00

Vegetarians, and their Hezbollah-like splinter faction, the vegans ... are the enemy of everything good and decent in the human spirit. - Anthony Bourdain

This is sure to win me some friends.

Happy Holidays!

Father Time Needs A Break

2008-12-02T16:40:00.002-08:00

Finally got the Christmas lights up! What a chore. I'm cold, exhausted, thirsty, and hungry. Time to go inside and take care of all those issues while I wait for neighbors to come by and compliment my creativity and hard work.

It's not easy being me.

Football As War

2008-11-30T07:47:00.004-08:00

A Duck or A Dog?

Here's a great shot of an avid football fan. So what's with the school sweater?
Somehow, the marriage of Thanksgiving and football is something I remember from my high school days in Flint, Michigan when Central played Northern on Thanksgiving Day. This turned out to be a classic "good news-bad news" situation. I would return home after the game frozen solid. The good news - I could thaw out with turkey, dressing, cranberry jelly and tons of other good stuff. Not a bad deal when you are a starving teen but now, in retrospect, it was a weird combination of two completely different events. Since Flint now has several high schools, I'm sure this tradition is long gone but back then, weird or not, it was a big deal.

The Tradition (off by two days) Continues

Following a custom that dates back to 1894, University of Oregon played Oregon State University in football last night. This annual event is referred to locally as the Civil War. I'm sure it makes sense to some people, but the fact that the two schools are 40 miles apart, causes me to question the choice of nickname. There is no North and South, no Rebel or Union soldiers; just Ducks and Beavers. Oh well!

The final score of this year's game was 65-38 in favor of University of Oregon. The loss knocked Oregon State out of a sure Rose Bowl date, and added to the enmity between the die-hard believers. My take on the whole thing? Go Wolverines! Wait until next year!

This post dedicated to all those who live in other states but graduated from Oregon State University!

Happy Thanksgiving To My Family & Friends

2008-11-26T12:02:00.003-08:00

Yes, this is last year's picture of a perfectly done turkey. Time is scarce this year for Google searches and picture taking so we'll just have to be content with last year's bird!

To everyone, have a great Thanksgiving! If you're at Father Time's house or spending the day elsewhere around the globe, the sentiment here is just the same.

May your day be joyful, your food hot, and your emotional state "gently" warm.

One Dad Story Leads To Another

2008-11-17T19:04:00.013-08:00

Painting A Sign On An Airplane

In my last post I noted that my Father, who worked for GM, supplemented our family income by painting signs on weekends. Usually, he painted windows for businesses having sales, or gold leaf signs on doors of doctors and dentists, or a delivery truck touting the virtues of some business. Since I was young and restless, and to give my Mom a break, Dad would let me accompany him on his sign-painting trips and be his "gofer". That meant I got to sit around a lot but do the dirty work when needed.

Once, much to my delight, he was asked to go to the local airport and paint the name of a doctor friend of our family on the side of his Beechcraft Bonanza. The plane was unique back then for its unusual tail configuration - a "V" design that was a first in the recreational aircraft field.

The day in question was windy; not a good thing for an lightweight aircraft sitting outdoors. To help anchor it, the doctor heaped some sandbags on the co-pilot's side and asked me if I would mind sitting in the pilot's seat for some extra weight. To me, that was a dream come true! I had to sit in the pilot's seat by myself for about an hour.

So, what does a seven year old boy do in a real airplane while sitting in the pilot's seat?

Let's see.

For starters, I single handedly destroyed all of the enemies of the United States with a series of strategically planned bombing runs. Having tasted blood, I then flew spy missions over New York City looking for Mafia types. Spotting them easily from the air, I would swoop in and shoot them down with with a cleverly concealed .22 caliber pistol I always carried in my shirt pocket for just such an occasion. In particular, I was looking for any bad guys who might be holding June Allison as a hostage, taking them down without mercy and then delivering June to the local deputy sheriff who was in charge of Hollywood Star Hostage Detail.

And finally, as my coup de grâce, I spotted the Frankenstein while flying over Chicago. We engaged in a vicious gun fight - he from his castle, and me from the Beechcraft Bonanza. Luckily, I defeated him and flew back to the airport to receive the Congressional Medal of Honor which surprisingly was presented to me by June Allison.

As I stepped out, exhausted from all that imagineering, my Dad smiled and asked if I had enjoyed myself.

"Enjoy myself? Are you kidding? By the way, I'm dieing of hunger. Can we go get a Coney Island Hot Dog."

Mission accomplished!

My Loud Mouth Conscience

2008-11-16T12:18:00.007-08:00

The Conflict Begins

In 2005, when I started this blog, my goal was to post anything and everything I found interesting. Sounds like "it's all about me" doesn't it? (Well, it is, so don't interrupt.)

One of my earliest posts dealt with the Lockheed P-38 Lightening, a WWII fighter-interceptor. Somehow in the ensuing years, posting new pictures of this magnificent aircraft has became an annual event.

Don't Weapons of War Conflict With Your Personal Values?

(You know, you're really getting on my nerves.) To understand my fascination with this airplane, I need to step back to my childhood. When I was about 8 years old plus or minus a couple of years, my Father built a model of this plane from scrap wood he had in his sign shop. He was a journeyman sign painter but choose instead to work for GM and supplement our family income painting signs on weekends. Dad gave me the finished model for Christmas, and promptly hung it from the ceiling over my bed (knowing I would probably destroy it trying to make it fly.) For the next several years, I went to sleep watching it spinning in lazy circles over my bed. Those memories are still etched in my mind.

As an aside, keep in mind my mechanical engineering background. If its a machine, I will love it. If its a weapon of war, dump truck, pencil sharpener, or silicon chip factory, I'm entranced.

So Values Don't Count?

(Yes they do, now stop it! Note to self - Never use format again. It's creating anxiety and I'm here alone. Am I a candidate for therapy or what?)

For example, if I owned one of these, I would NOT be flying around shooting at things. If it were wartime, I would be flying the photo reconnaissance version. So in my warped mind, there is no conflict. So, look for a new picture of a P-38 next year.

A Rare Political Comment From Father Time

2008-11-05T14:27:00.004-08:00

My first presidential election involved Richard Nixon vs John Kennedy in 1960.

For the chronologically gifted, that also means I've seen:
Johnson-Goldwater
Nixon-Humphrey
Nixon-McGovern
Carter-Ford
Reagan-Carter
Reagan-Mondale
Bush I-Dukakis
Clinton-Bush I
Clinton-Dole
Bush II-Gore
Bush II-Kerry
and now Obama-McCain.

Notice carefully the pendulum swinging from right to left and back again. Notice too, despite the claims of the losing party that the end of the known civilized world was at hand, we are still here doing business.

Maybe we aren't the sharpest, most effective, most innovative, or best loved (or feared if that's your bag) country in the world, but we are still here. And compared to most of the rest of the world we are, as a people, pretty well off.

The pendulum swung again yesterday just as it will again 4-8 years down the road. Get ready to enjoy the ride on the swing; it'll be fun!

Note to Fly. The "feared country" part was specially inserted to acknowledge your unique perspective on the world.

Trapped By Mother Nature

2008-11-03T07:34:00.006-08:00

Continuing my outdoor theme from the previous post, I want to share something interesting I discovered about fish in Pamelia Lake. It's about the Cutthroat trout found there. The question was, how did relatives of the salmon family end up isolated in a lake at least one hundred miles from their nearest relatives.

How Did They Get There?

According to the US Forest Service biologists, this species originally swam upstream thousands of years just prior to the last Ice Age. Then, when a huge glacier carved out Pamelia Lake valley, it created a modest-sized lake without an above-the-ground outlet. So, the melting snow pack which drains into Pamelia Lake has to go underground through porous volcanic rock to emerge later some distance from the lake shore and become the headwaters for Pamelia Creek. In the process, Cutthroat trout swimming in the lake have ended up landlocked and trapped without a path back downstream.

Good News or Bad News?

Depending on your point of view, it's both. Being landlocked, the Cutthroat originally had plenty of natural food but only enough for a reasonable population. But now, because of the limited volume of water, the lake is home to a huge population of stunted Cutthroats surviving on what has become a limited supply of food. The good news is that fishing this lake is not unlike shooting fish in a barrel. Plus, the south end of the lake is home to a pair of bald eagles who work very hard trying to keep the fish population under control. Incidentally, they are very happy eagles!

And This Means?

Fish for breakfast, lunch, and dinner for the lucky hiker who happens to know where Pamelia is located and just happens to carry a fly rod. I wonder who that could be?

Mother Nature - Developer, Architect, Builder

2008-10-30T09:05:00.026-07:00

Oregon's Back Woods

One of my favorite hiking spots is Pamelia Lake in the Mt Jefferson Wilderness . Getting to the lake entails a 10 mile drive on a Forest Service Road to the trailhead, and then hiking about 2.5 miles to the lake. The hike gains about 600 feet in altitude so youngsters like myself find it slow going. Slow is synonymous for "time to ponder life and all its perplexing questions."

Blow Down Pick Up Sticks

The hike starts with a nice path through the woods but soon becomes a tangle of blown down trees. The high number of "blow downs" resulted from extraordinarily heavy snows last winter followed by moderately warm temperatures. The heavy loads of snow on the shallow rooted trees left tangles of huge tress propped up at crazy angles everywhere. Luckily, the Forest Service, with the help of volunteers, has cleared the path to the lake but left behind a bizarre landscape of crazily tilting trees interspersed with huge fallen ones. The sight is absolutely surreal.

Boulder City

Then came the boulders, rocks, and gravel. I'd been up this trail several times in past years but with the heavy devastation caused by the blow downs, the trail has been diverted through areas that resemble gigantic economy size gravel pits. Keep in mind that these remnants of the last ice age are even older than me! It almost started me thinking about global warming but I quickly turned my mind to more pleasant philosophical thoughts and away from ugly political issues.

Tranquility In Abundance

Finally, after huffing and puffing my way uphill for over an hour, my reward was the lake itself. Pamelia is pristine in every way, unspoiled by humankind, and so quiet one can hear ones heart beating. I stood there for at least two minutes listening for anything - a bird, a fish jumping, a flies buzzing around, the rustling of wind blowing through the trees. Nothing! Absolutely nothing! Now, think of that when you're ready to throw a rock through your TV screen after the umpteenth negative political ad! So, there is a place you can go and hear absolutely nothing without going to a clinic for a hearing test. I find it simply amazing that Mother Nature thought of it first.

This is one of the places I go when my batteries need recharging. I wish I had learned about this place when I was much younger. In retrospect however, I doubt I would have appreciated it then as much as I do now. Sometimes batteries need replacement. Sometimes they need to be recharged. Thankfully, I fall in the latter category and plan on continuing my hunt for solitude amidst the chaos around me. Too bad one can't make a living do that.

Back In The Saddle (For Awhile*)

2008-10-30T08:49:00.003-07:00

This was the longest summer ever! With remodeling, hiking, some not-for-profit volunteer work, and a mini health scare, my days flew by. Now that the health issue is resolved and the remodels are completed, I'm slipping back into a more normal routine.

So that means my long neglected blog can play catch up. Join me for the ride!

* My research on the use of the word "awhile" can be found here. Don't you just love it when old people discover something new?

Whew!

2008-09-21T19:53:00.003-07:00

Father Time's still alive but moving at a slower pace. This week I'll finally have time to update you on a few of the more interesting events that consumed most of my time for the past 30 days.

Clearly, some of the things that transpired can't be described as interesting, but are definitely semi-gruesome in nature. We'll spare you details in an effort to maintain, at the very least, a site with a modicum of good taste. Won't that be nice for a change? Maybe an even better question would be, "Does Father Time understand the meaning of "in good taste?"

OK, we'll quit now while we're ahead. I dearly love to change from third person to first person, and back again. Must be a sickness of some sort.

Is This Progress or Not?

2008-08-21T15:04:00.010-07:00

The Problem With "Before" and "After" Pictures

When I took these two photos, my objective was to show progress on my kitchen remodel. But the question becomes, "Which cupboards are before the remodel and which are after?" Obviously, the question hinges on personal taste.

Those who know me are aware of my preference for Shaker inspired design. Now....using that as a hint, is it easier to determine which picture shows the new cabinets?

If not, send $1.00 and a Wheaties boxtop to Who Cares?, P.O. Box 123, Boring, Oregon 90210, for the correct answer. Then you too can enjoy inner peace along with Father Time.

Updates For Those Who Are Interested

2008-08-20T07:21:00.007-07:00

What's Going On Now?
When I started this blog, my goal was to create a kind of "road map" of my retired life. As the new path ahead of me unfolded, I wanted to use this to track my varied interests and activities. Now, almost three years later, I've discovered some immediate family and a few good friends read it on occasion, using it as a means of making sure I'm alive and well. When I don't post, they become concerned.

OK, since I'm a humanitarian at heart, I thought it would be fun and informative to randomly post an update of what's going on up here in the land of gray rain. (Today is August 20th and it's rainy and gray, following a 100 degree heat wave this past weekend! Thank goodness for "gray rain.") By randomly I'm suggesting that these updates will occur when I find some spare time. Read on and see why "spare time" is becoming a joke!

So What's New - Or Old?
Kitchen remodel is 45% Complete. I was going to include pictures of before and after but for some weird reason, Google won't let me upload them. No, there are no nude pictures of anyone since that would change the entire character of this place! So, whatever their reasons, my pictures will be uploaded here when the censors decide that my kitchen cabinets are not some sort of terrorist threat!

Backpacking in Jefferson Park is temporarily on hold due to our really unusual weather this year. First, we had snow at 5,000 feet until late July. Since my planned campsite was as 5,600 feet, snow camping in July was not a priority! Then, when the snow did melt, the mosquitoes were out in full force. So, new plan - go in September right after the remodel in complete. Oh yeah!

The famous ceiling cave-in is now history and has become yet another re-modeling project. For starters, the ceiling in one of our downstairs bedrooms developed a large bulge and with a little poking and prodding from Father Time, became an indoor storm. No lightening but plenty of rain! The culprit was a pipe in our master bedroom bath that had sprung a leak. When our plumber started digging around, we found other copper pipes in the same area with lots of little corrosion spots - cause unknown. So, after consulting with Ms Time, a decision was made to replace the old fiberglass shower, replace every pipe we could see, and install a really nice "man-made" marble shower. That project is underway and at this point, with both the kitchen and the bathroom in a state of total disorder, law and order does not describe our home! "Oh yeah" one more time!

And finally, a surprise from inside. Inside my body that is. For the past couple of months, I've had some short episodes of a racing heart beat. They lasted about 15 seconds or so, but were becoming more frequent. Not being a hero, I went to see my friendly doctor. After a couple of tests and a thorough debriefing of my eating habits, he suggested I cut back on my coffee. I did. It's been two weeks since my last episode with NASCAR Heart. End of story.

End of update. I'll do this again when things look, smell, feel, and sound better.

Stay tuned!

Lastest From Joey

2008-08-14T15:15:00.001-07:00

Some of you may remember we rescued a Shetland Sheep Dog three years ago. At first, I updated the blog monthly while we searched for his true personality. Later, as is my style, I either became lazy or preoccupied with my next adventure and didn't say too much about him.

So, as repentance for my wayward writing habits, here's the latest picture of Joey. His coat is much fuller, and he's fully recovered from the horrible matted fur his past owners' treatment caused. He's still a little shy, which is typical of his breed, but he realizes he has found a good home and is clearly thankful for our hospitality.

He has one characteristic which can be bothersome at times. He feels his role is to act as our early warning system for anything within 100' of our house. This includes cats, deer, and kids on bicycles. When he detects the intrusion of evil near our premises, he cuts loose with a piercing series of barks that only Shelties can produce. Once we acknowledge his disruptive behavior, he quiets right down and goes back to sleep. In other words, it's Father Time's job to rid the house of evil spirits. Joey's only job is to make sure I'm doing my job.

Fear not! Father Time shall prevail - maybe!

Transition

2008-08-04T16:05:00.005-07:00

The Loss of Another Great Friend
Art was always the same; he greeted you with a big smile and his ever-present twinkling eyes. You knew from the beginning this man was special.

Mrs. Time considered him her second father, (and not because he needed another daughter. He already had four!) In her formative years he made sure she was included in most of their family outings and gatherings. When she moved on to college, he was there to make sure she didn't end up being "all work and no play." When she needed help and counsel in her early married years, he was there as part of her support system. After she met and married Father Time (OK, so he wasn't a good judge of character!) he added me to his list of friends and confidants.

Now here's the scary part - because I worked for a bank, by default I became his source of all wisdom and knowledge when it came to investments. Despite the fact that all my training was in commercial lending, he considered me his financial guru. OK. I will admit that a couple of my recommendations went well, but trust me - it was sheer luck. Nonetheless, whenever we met, we always spent 20 minutes catching up on our lives and kids, and then invariably he hit me with this question. "Now, what should I be buying now to make some money?"

Saying Goodbye
This past weekend,(Aug.1-3) we attended his funeral. It was very traditional which is something not often seen these days. After a church ceremony, he was buried with both military honors and the Masonic Scottish Rite ceremony. The list of his accomplishments is lengthy but the real proof of his life and his character was fully evident at a celebration of his life afterwards. Art and his wife Dorothy raised four daughters and a son, and grandchildren and great grandchildren too numerous to count. The sound of laughter and heart-warming conversations about things he said and did were in evidence everywhere.

The only thing missing was Art. He would have loved it. I even missed the ever present question; "What should I be buying now to make some money?" By the way, it was always said with a twinkle in his eyes that said, "Don't worry. If you're wrong it's only money!"

Farewell To A Great Friend

2008-07-11T15:18:00.011-07:00

His name was Zippy. He didn't get his name because he was as slim and svelte as a greyhound, but because his tail never stopped twitching back and forth. His tail was a prime example of living perpetual motion.

He could move fast when necessary, but only if fun was the end game. For instance, if something was being dragged across the floor, he would wake up out of a sound sleep and pounce on it. Several of my leather belts have scratches on the ends as a testament to his vigilance and my sloppy early morning dressing habits.

His greatest feat occurred several years ago when our garden was attacked by moles. One morning as I was leaving for work, there were three dead moles lined up in a row on the driveway in front of the garage door, their heads pointing in the same direction. I felt better knowing I was not the only anal person in our household.

Mrs. Time will miss him greatly. Each morning Zippy would help himself to a big drink of water using whatever droplets were left over in the shower. After a quick clean up, he would jump up on the bed where Mrs. Time was reading and want a warm coffee cup massage. We knew he was in trouble two weeks ago when we noticed his tail wasn't twitching and he couldn't jump up on the bed.

The vet said it was some sort of mysterious neurological problem that was attacking his spine. First his tail went dead, then his right hind leg, and finally his left hind leg. It was progressing quickly and it was clear his days were numbered. Reluctantly, Mrs. Time and I went to the vet's office today and said goodbye to our faithful friend. It was one of the hardest things we've ever done.

Zippy, wherever you go, you will welcomed with open arms and loved dearly. It will automatically become a better place and no doubt be free of moles. There may or may not be a heaven for humans but I have no doubt there's a cool place for cats like you! Line 'em up big guy!

Serupticiously Becoming A Building Contractor

2008-07-06T07:44:00.004-07:00

What Happened?

For the past several months, I have been planning a simple kitchen remodel. The most complex aspect of the project would be arriving at a amicable agreement with Mrs Time over color, lighting, cupboard design, and wood finish. I was hoping for a contemporary look, while Mrs Time wanted a more traditional feel. So we turned to our kids for additional opinions. Both of them demonstrated strong feelings that can be best described as, "Whatever."

Thus through this arduous process of give-and-take, we arrived a the final design - the more traditional feel. Clearly, my skills as a negotiator served me well. I caved on almost every area to maintain domestic harmony. Am I good or what?

The Fun Begins

The removal of the fluorescent lights to make way for track lighting revealed the former owners of the house had installed the lights themselves without assistance of an electrician. The four large fixtures covered up non-code wiring, wallboard cracks and holes, and with two of four fixtures, no electrical boxes to secure the wires! There were just holes poked in the ceiling with protruding wires that were so unbelievably unsafe I can't believe we lived here 18 years without an electrical failure or fire.

The solution - call in an electrician to rewire the whole thing, then a dry wall contractor to replace and refinish all of the cracked areas, and we should be looking good! In case you're keeping score, we now have two sub-contractors gainfully employed.

The Ceiling Caves In

That is not a figurative expression - it's the real thing! Apparently a water supply pipe between floors sprung a leak, causing a ceiling to partially collapse in one of our spare bedrooms. So, add a plumber to the mix. We decided that since we had some of the water pipes available for inspection, why not open it up even more and look at the other pipes? A little preventative maintenance before closing up the ceiling made sense. Incidentally, sense and cents sound alike but when it comes to sub-contractors, it should be sense and dollars - many of them!

Since we were looking at all the cool pipes running between floors, Mrs Time suggested this would be a great time to replace the entire shower stall in the master bath! $$$$$ later, another contractor enters the mix. This time we have a small project remodeler who will take over the shower stall and pipe replacement project, freeing me to return to the kitchen extravaganza. We'll use his dry wall crew to also repair the kitchen ceiling after the electrical guys finish their work.

I think this is what modern management consultants refer to as "synergy." It's so cool to be "modern."

Happy Ending

In the meantime, I keep busy building the new cabinets in the workshop and taking phone calls from sub-contractors who are called away on emergencies, (read "more lucrative") jobs. I'm sure this is only the first chapter in the remodeling adventure, and depending on my propensity to locate sources of stress, will be followed by at least four more chapters. Whether I have the stomach to write about any new disasters remains to be seen. Don't stay tuned. It may take awhile. Whoops! Gotta run answer the phone!

"Hello Max, how are you? Oh really? His whole house is flooded? That's a shame. See you in two weeks."

Are Big Cars A Thing Of The Past?

2008-07-02T07:23:00.005-07:00

Please don't let this be a trend,
Apparently, Mercedes Benz still feels there is a place for large, I.E. expensive, automobiles in our future. For example, here's something they whipped up recently in their design studios.It almost looks like one of those big Chevrolet Impalas from 50's doesn't it?

Now, here's the really interesting part - the interior.
Specifically, note the driver's side. No steering wheel! In other words, this car will be a gamer's delight. If you're skilled at "Grand Theft Auto IV", you're right at home. Ironically, the new X-Box version of NASCAR requires a steering wheel. Isn't it fun to watch industry thrash around trying to find a lucrative marketing niche?

Would Father Time ever buy one of these?
Let's see. How should I answer that? How about a resounding, "NO!"

Family

2008-06-29T07:16:00.007-07:00

What's The Clan Up To Now?

Well, let's start with the new and progress quickly to the ancient. That makes sense to me but I'm open to other people's ideas as long as they agree with mine. I'm open minded if nothing else.

NASCAR Sister and Cool Dude

A few posts back I mentioned that my favorite relatives are now retired. But check this out! This picture was attached to an recent e-mail from NASCAR Sister. My first reaction was, "What the heck?" Am I a victim of the dreaded "paradigm shift" or did my sister win the lottery?

Before she sent this picture, I considered my life modest but comfortable. I was a prototypical middle class retired guy. But now, have I somehow been recklessly tossed into an entirely new socio-economic demographic? Am I actually somewhere between homeless and just plain old poverty?. Am I in some kind of time warp? More importantly, what kind of pensions do municipal workers in North Carolina get?

This just in: Buried in the fine print of the e-mail was a note that this was a picture of a nice area taken during one of my sister's frequent sight-seeing tours.

I can breathe again without pangs of envy. I am a lousy envious person. Sibling rivalry? What are you talking about?

Last Out Of The Nest

Yes! He's on his way to independence. He has a job.
Let me ask one (and only one,) question. Did you ever have a teacher this young? When I went to school, teachers used to have gray hair and wear sturdy shoes. Yes, back in my day we had to walk to school through the snow, uphill both ways, yada, yada, yada. On a "younger" note, as long as the pay check can be redeemed for cash, I will never be critical!

Congratulations Big Guy! You are the greatest.

For A Later Post

I will share Father Time's misadventures with home improvement. Watch for Killer Kitchen Kapers which, in retrospect, is a really lame title. How about Father Time Tests His Frustration Quotient With Inept Construction Techniques?

Much better!

Just Because

2008-06-24T06:07:00.002-07:00

Two Posts In Two Days? What's Wrong?

Nothing is wrong. Just because I switched my brand of coffee doesn't mean I'm more energized in the morning. Just because my kitchen remodel is going badly and is days behind schedule doesn't mean I wake up early and race to the workshop (at least not on weekends.) Just because the ceiling crashed in one of my downstairs bedrooms due to a copper pipe failure doesn't mean I'm stressed out. AND........just because the snow pack in the Cascades is so heavy I've had to postpone my four-day backpacking trip to Mount Jefferson doesn't mean I'm frustrated. Angry? Yes. Frustrated? No.

Trucks And Their Offspring

The old red Sonoma is getting kind of arthritic. What to do? Look for a new vehicle that will take me up into the foothills without costing me an IRA distribution each trip. Have you noticed that 4-cylinder engines are now more costly than V-6's or V-8's? If I wait long enough I can probably buy a Hemi for pennies on the dollar and do an engine swap. Might not make sense gas mileage wise but it sure would be fun passing a Mercedes with my old beater truck.

Dream on old man, dream on!

New Look - New Direction

2008-06-23T21:48:00.002-07:00

The Umpteenth Shift Of Focus

I've done this before so I'm doing it again.

Once again I've lost my blogging motivation. And again, I've resorted to an old reliable cure - a quick and dirty review of my settled-in life as a retired person. Not surprisingly, it revealed I'm busier than ever and still blessed with a solid immune system that rejects everything nasty and makes each day a delight.

Therefore, (and this has nothing to do with the above) I'm going to proceed with a half-diary, half-opinion format. This is good news for anyone who cares to know what I'm doing with my time, and bad news for those who stumble by here looking for exciting and enlightening topics.

In advance, let me apologize to my friends who occasionally visit here. If my constant bobbing and weaving is becoming bothersome, just be thankful there are thousands of other web sites that can offer you respite.

So that's it. Let's see what develops this time and how long it lasts! I'm excited again and that's what's important here at the place.

Why We Won WW II

2008-04-24T21:33:00.005-07:00

The Competition

Here are some fine examples of state of the art aircraft design - circa 1940. Clearly, these foreign aircraft demonstrate backward thinking by their respective engineering teams. Notice how the German plane's design is based on dated concepts. An example is the failed attempt at streamlining the landing gear to project an image of speed even though the landing gear is entirely concealed when the plane is in flight. Sad indeed.

The Japanese Zero is basically a large engine with small wings and tail attached. Pity the poor pilot who tried to tame this beast! The pilot surely felt like he was riding on the end of a lion tamer's whip. Neck injuries among Japanese pilots must have reached epidemic proportions.

So Here Was Our Answer

When you consider the US employed its best and brightest, there's no question that our fighter plane designs were superior from the get go. Notice the beauty of the sweeping clean lines, the unobstructed view the pilot had of every inch of this nimble craft - truly classic proportions which translated into superior performance.

This is just another example of what a nation can do when pushed to the brink. Proof again that "commitee think" produces superior results!

Fly Specs

2008-04-22T09:50:00.002-07:00

I had breakfast with The Fly. Since he picked up the tab, I hereby challenge Fly to an online debate: Election 2008 - Common Sense vs Creative Problem Solving. Pick your side and I will happily (bury) debate the other side for at least two posts!

Out

NASCAR Sister Retires

2008-04-03T16:52:00.009-07:00

Sad But True
At the end of March, Father Time's sister retired from job as a waitress at Capt'n Jack's House Of Liver, the finest eating establishment in Bald Knob. She will be missed by all of the regulars, but no one will miss her more than Louie, Alphonse, and Ezekiel, or as the locals call them - The Savory Brothers. (That's because their last name is Herb.) None of us like change and certainly the Savory's are prime examples of people who detest change.

The Savory Brothers
Since the brothers have never left Bald Knob, NASCAR Sister asked me, as a favor, to publish their pictures here on a big time blog for the first time. The first picture is Alphonse who is the youngest Savory brother. He has a great sense of humor and only wears clothes from K-Mart, which makes him a hit with older women. Alphonse is also the only Savory known to have the ability to dribble. His talent for water sports attracted several major university water polo coaches, but unfortunately, none was able to offer him a scholarship. Nevertheless, Alphonse went on to be a success as the General Manager of the Bald Knob Feathered Fiends, our local semi-amateur Lawn Dart team.

Next we see Louie. Louie Savory is a little different than the other two brothers but we are assured by Dr. Spite, our local chiropractor, Louie is indeed a Savory sort since Dr. Spite delivered all of the Savory boys.
Over the years there have been numerous questions about Louie. First, he grew a beard long before he entered puberty. Second, his ears weren't like the other two brothers. To settle the controversy, Dr. Spite conducted a DNA test on all three and concluded they indeed were located somewhere on the family tree, but from which branch was beyond the realm of modern science. Since Dr. Spite was a learned man, the townspeople accepted his findings and the brothers have spent their lives in Bald Knob with minimal controversy.

And finally we have Ezekiel M. Savory, the oldest brother. (The "M" stands for Methuselah, the Savory's father.) Dad Savory soon realized he had his work cut out when he saw Ezekiel in the nursery for the first time. Clearly, there was not enough money in the universe to perform all the plastic surgery necessary to make Ezekiel handsome enough to attract a bride. So old Methuselah sent Ezekiel to an Egyptian monastery where he trained to become a martial arts referee. Even though he failed, he returned to Bald Knob where he is now the town's only Commodore computer repairman.

At Any Rate
More about NASCAR Sister's fabulous life in a future post. There is just SO much good stuff she did that Father Time has no idea where to start.

But I will!

So Much To Do

2008-03-31T12:11:00.006-07:00

The Usual Excuses
(I should just make a macro out of this part. Would save a lot of time!)
Boy have I ever been sloughing off and neglecting my blog. I know this isn't something new but someday I must slow down! At any rate, what's been going on here in the beautiful Northwest?
Woodworking
Get ready to snore.I've been looking for a particular type of older wood plane on E-Bay for the past four months. I finally found one in Ohio that was for sale at a very reasonable price. It arrived March 28th and in now known as Dad's "Obsession" by my family. They can make fun of me if they want, but little do they know my passion for fluffy shavings. But that's a conversation for my therapist and me so let's move on!

The Deer "Fence"
Works like a charm. Not a single deer in my yard for over three weeks! That means only one thing - fresh fruits and vegetables from Father (and Mother)Time's garden this year. It does bother me, however, when I see them peeking through the wires and licking their chops. It bothers me for almost 15 seconds. And then I smile.

Backpacking
The weather is getting warmer and that means the snow will be melting soon. Then watch me stop blogging for months at a time. Oh ya! New lightweight low-temp sleeping bag and one-person tent, plus a weather radio to be tested soon. Have all my GPS points plotted on a map and downloaded to my receiver. If I get lost, it will because I forgot something esoteric like my compass or eyeglasses.

Enough already
I agree. It's time to hustle off and do something useful in the workshop. Today might be a good day to move forward on my Adirondack chair rebuild project. This time, new stainless steel screws, waterproof glue, and a thorough sanding to remove the ancient looking silver color Mother Nature inflicted upon them. Then the obligatory picture will be included on the blog so those of you who read this drivel can pat me on the back. It will be a poignant moment! Gag

First Inning - Father Time 1 - Deer 0

2008-03-11T11:45:00.003-07:00

The Game Is On!
As I described in my last post, the solution to yard and garden preservation was to increase the height of my chain-link fence and prevent the local deer herd from getting in. The actual "increase" was accomplished by bolting pieces of 3/4" electrical conduit to my fence posts, and then stringing wire through holes drilled in the conduit. Our local university extension service suggested putting white flags at regular intervals to prevent the deer from attempting to jump the fence at night when the wires are not visible. For you macho types out there, (are you listening Fly?) a possible modification would be to substitute razor wire and then get ready to enjoy some venison steaks this summer. But since my household includes a dog and two cats adopted from our local Humane Society, you can bet that won't happen here!

Remember. It's just the first inning!
I'll keep you posted if the score changes!

Mission accomplished - I think.

Mother Nature 2 - Father Time 0

2008-02-24T07:41:00.009-08:00

Mother Nature kicks sand in my face.
For the past five years, White-tailed deer have easily jumped the 5' chain-link fence surrounding my garden and orchard. Once inside, they feast on my apples, strawberries, rose bushes, and beans. In short, they leave me no choice but to purchase my produce at the local supermarket!

Father Time's devious plan
Following a neighbor's lead, I'm re-engineering my fence and raising the height to 10'. Yesterday I purchased the necessary materials (poles, wires, and fasteners) to increase the overall height and, simultaneously, create a hazard to low flying aircraft.

"Yes", I silently bragged to myself, "Only Olympic qualified deer will get in here now!"

The deer's devious plan
As I was attaching the first pole to the fence with industrial-strength u-bolts, I happened to look over at my neighbor's yard. Unbelievably, FIVE deer were resting in his yard, contentedly munching grass and watching me work!

OK, I've worked in front of an audience before but this was a bit much. Then as if to mock me, the largest deer looked right at me and, I swear, smiled at me!

I could hear him saying, "Bring it on old man. When you're done, we'll still jump over!" Now, to say I was shocked would be a masterpiece of understatement. On the other hand, I'm a calm deliberate person, so I did what any semi-intelligent person would do - I stuck my tongue out at him!

Father Time counter punches
After a little research on the Internet, I've discovered that once I've raised the height of the fence, I should attach 2' white streamers on the top wire every five feet along the entire length of the fence. For reasons known only to deer, this will absolutely keep them at bay. In the meantime, my home will look like a used car lot having a clearance sale.

Other than a few meaningless class-action law suits from neighbors, the next move is up the the deer.

This isn't over yet!
Once the fence is complete, I will share photos of the deer and the fence here on the blog. They will also be used in court as defense exhibits.

Father Time will prevail!

A Time To Blog

2008-02-21T07:32:00.006-08:00

Where does the time go?
This blog must feel like an orphan. Unless I make a note on my "To Do" list, it gets lost in the shuffle. As it turns out, my retirement should be measured in mph's rather than days or months.

At any rate................what's new?

BackpackingMy trip to the Jefferson Wilderness is definitely on for late May or early June. As some of you may know, I obtained the GPS coordinates for several places used by our local university's atmospheric research team to record glacial activities on Mt Jefferson. By measuring the distance from these waypoints to the glacier's current position (using the GPS of course), along with the date and time of the measurement, a data base is being developed of the glacier's movements over extended periods of time. This will supplement their research into the development of a global warming model. Because of the limits of telemetry, and the remote locations, volunteers are needed to help fill in the gaps in their data base. Those who know me well, realize my middle name is "volunteer." The Army taught me nothing!

Fly Fishing
Guess what I'm doing when I'm not fooling around with glaciers? You're right - fishing in the lakes fed by the glacial runoff! A brand-new five-piece pack rod that weighs in at less than a pound - including foam carrying case, reel, line, and flies. Now I don't have to pay for my morning and evening brookies by toting an extra few pounds up the trail. Life is good.

Woodworking
Right now I'm reorganizing the shop to get rid of things I will never work on, building a proper storage rack for my inventory of wood, and setting up my machines differently to facilitate work flow. I hear you yawning. Moving on!

Hospice
Right now I have two of the greatest patients I have ever worked with - one a biker and the other a retired insurance person. So far, my Hospice experience has been unbelievably educational. I have learned more about other people's life styles and experiences than one could possibly imagine. Absolutely outstanding and right up there with some of the most stimulating interactions with humans I have ever experienced.

And last but not least - Volunteer "Boardism"
Maddening at times but rewarding in hindsight. I'm helping out a local DDR foster care organization with its finances and investments. Reminds me of why I got into that line of work in the first place. My internal hard drive is not maxed out either - that was a concern. In the words of Maxwell Smart - "and loving it!"

Miscellaneous Stuff
Almost forgot! Just remembered that someone has to do dishes, a little laundry, and fix dinner. Humbling but necessary.

Now you know why the blog has been orphaned. Sad but true and I wouldn't have it any other way!

Definition Of Awesome

2008-02-02T16:04:00.000-08:00

OK. I've reflected, chosen my resolutions, and am ready to move on. Let me demonstrate.

A Video Is Worth One Hundred Words!

I could bore you with a flood of adjectives but this video does a much better job and ie entertaining to boot.

Now, is that "awesome" or what?

The defense rests!

Time To Reflect

2008-01-24T06:51:00.000-08:00

The Problem
Emme (see comments on last post) asks a good question. "What are your New Year's resolutions?" My response? That's a fair question with a less than satisfactory answer.

I've been postponing making any resolutions while I mull over some exciting, labor intensive, overly ambitious, and totally ludicrous goals. Why make them when I know up front they'll never be accomplished?

Possible Goals
(Remember, these are only live in my mind right now. Don't expect to see pictures taken from the far corners of the earth or anything exotic. My goals are geographically bounded by the borders of the USA.)

1. Backpack into the Mt Jefferson Wilderness and actually see, and possibly touch, a glacier. Since they may not be with us in a few years, I need to do this fairly soon.

2. Build an authentic Shaker-style dining table and six chairs to replace the ugly factory bought stuff we currently own. Makes me crazy just walking by them every day!

3. Retool the workshop. Totally overhaul it with a well-planned layout that makes optimum use of the available space.

4. Help the non-profit board I'm involved with streamline it's financial operations and investment portfolio. (Some of you may think that sounds boring. If you do, you really don't know me that well. I think it's fun! Sick, sick man you say? Yup!)

5. Take a long overdue vacation to Mendocino, California Explore the Northern California coastline and drink my way through the miles of wineries in Anderson Valley.

So?
Given more time, my resolutions should "go public" in a couple of weeks. Until then, the blog may be a little slow, but that describes me perfectly!

Now Look What I've Started

2007-12-21T07:15:00.000-08:00

I Should Know Better
In my last post, I casually mentioned that the P-51 Mustang and the Supermarine Spitfire might be contenders for the title of "Best Fighter Plane of WWII." What a monster I created! So far, I have received telephone calls from five different "friends" who vociferously questioned the "quality" of my research. So, let's set the record straight!

I Know Nothing! (Courtesy of Sgt. Hans Shultz)
First, I didn't do any research on WWII Fighter Planes. My only source of information on them is incidental at best. Regarding the P-38, however, I can honestly say I have performed a ton of research and consider myself "informed" but hardly an "expert." (Those who know me are well aware of my aversion to anyone who is billed as an "expert" unless he or she holds advanced degrees and is at least 75 years old.)

So What Now?
I'm going back to chili recipes and wait patiently for seven more years when I will become an "expert" at something. I not sure what the discipline will be but I'm leaning toward psychotropic medicines.

Annual Tradition

2007-12-20T08:12:00.000-08:00

In The Beginning
I started this blog in November, 2005 with two goals in mind:
1.) to create an online journal of my leisure activities and,
2.) to indulge my passion for things mechanical.

This post falls in the latter category. My interest the Lockheed P-38 Lightning was piqued at a very young age when my Dad built a model and hung it from my bedroom ceiling. I spent more nights than I can count staring at it until I finally fell asleep. In my mind, that was how airplanes were supposed to look. It wasn't until many years later I discovered what a truly unique design it was. Additionally, the man who headed the design team at Lockheed, Clarence Kelly, was from my home town! How cool is that?

True Confessions

I'll confess that the P-38 had its shortcomings, and will even admit it was not the greatest fighter plane ever made during WWII. Probably the P-51 Mustang and British Spitfire vie for that honor. But as something that could stir the soul of a young mechanically inclined boy, it was nonpareil. Maybe Santa will bring me one this year.

Wow! First December Post

2007-12-16T11:11:00.000-08:00

Busy, busy, busy

This has been an interesting month. Lots of family related activities and very little time for blogging. Believe it or not, the rest of the month, including the impending Holidays, looks relatively tame compared to the past 30 days.

Premature Celebrating
The combination of my youngest son's graduation, visits by guests from out-of-town, plus an early Holiday open house, all contributed to massive To Do list revisions. With those activities behind me, everything else looks positively passive by comparison.

So, what's my plan for survival?
Daily naps friends. The seniors' Fountain of Youth!

I, (hand on copy of Woodworking Magazine) hearby swear to post highly important facts and fiction that will probably be shining examples of my fuzzy December focus.

And you can take that to the credit union!

Father Time Saith

2007-11-24T10:37:00.000-08:00

In The Beginning

There were self-important bloggers who felt their posts contained life-changing content and would eventually lead their readers to "The Ultimate Truth."

And Then There Was Father Time's Place

Disclosure: I'm in a weird post-Thanksgiving mode right now and procrastinating on my responsibilities as lead Christmas-light-putter-upper. Therefore I am merely trying to look like I'm catching up on my e-mail. So far it's working!

Regarding my earlier thoughts under "In The Beginning", I hope like heck NOT to follow the "self-important" model. This post alone should be proof of my intentions.

Roger out.

Thanksgiving

2007-11-21T14:41:00.000-08:00

Seems like I used this same picture last year........oh well.

Here's wishing all of Father Time's extended family a wonderful family-oriented Thanksgiving. (If you're reading this, you're extended family but not in the will!)

If you are spending the holiday alone, I know from experience what you must be feeling. Don't worry though. The Friday shopping bargains will make you feel better. On the other hand, I don't know squat about shopping the day after Thanksgiving. I shop on December 24th. The stress is exquisite!

Father Time's Condensed Sports Page

2007-11-16T09:23:00.000-08:00

Chapter 1
My team, Michigan, has a reputation for driving its fans crazy. It finds exciting new ways to get blown out against lesser teams, then in close games, comes through when the chips are down.

This year, Mrs. Time's alma mater, Oregon, started out by running over Michigan, went on to achieve national recognition, and was in the running for the BCS Championship Game.

Chapter 2
On Thursday November 15, 2007, Oregon played Arizona at Tucson. If you watched it on TV you'll know why our household is in mourning today. It was ugly. So much for a BCS Championship. Tsk, tsk, tsk. (Spell checker hates that word!)

Chapter 3
Now, if Michigan beats Ohio State this weekend, the Wolverines will go to the Rose Bowl. If Oregon wins its next two games, it will go to the Rose Bowl. And where does that leave things? Right back at the beginning of the season again, except for one small fact. Father Time flew to Michigan to witness the collapse against Oregon. If they meet again, Mrs. Time will fly to Pasadena to watch the rematch.

And The Winner Is?
The airlines.

Son's Adventures In Space

2007-11-06T06:54:00.000-08:00

Objective
My youngest son decided to explore space without using a "manned space vehicle." His transportation of choice - rubber bands. (He clearly takes after his Dad.)

Preparation
Finding a launch site in Oregon is easy - just look for a bridge over a deep canyon. This is actually the easiest part of the mission.
Launch
This part even included a count-down. It was 5-4-3-2-1... Ahhh "one" son. ONE SON!!! Somebody push him!

Flight
When the rocket engine finally fired, he was catapulted into.....well, "dropped" into space, and was out of sight in seconds. Totally amazing except for the blood curdling scream. Father Time handled it well, other than being unable to stop my head from shaking side-to-side when I'm awake. Hope Medicare handles it.
Perfect Form
Notice how calm and controlled my son is in the last picture. Especially note the perfect form of a man who is convinced he's going to die. What grace. What form. What composure!

Will Father Time Do This Soon?
Not on your life!

A Rare (for Father Time) Foray Into World Affairs

2007-11-05T10:43:00.000-08:00

Editorial Comment
It's rare for this site to comment about anything political or to state personal opinions about world affairs. However, this headline caught my eye, especially since the situation in this part of the world is dealt with extensively on Richard Silverstein's blog.

What Prompted This Deviation From Tongue-In-Cheek?
My previous post about kayak's led me to a photograph on Richard's site. I wanted to use it for this blog, so I wrote to him requesting permission to use it here. He graciously agreed, so my post now includes a gorgeous picture of a cedar strip kayak in Seattle, Washington. While I was waiting for a response, I spent some time reading Richard's recent blog posts, and found him to be not only an educated man, but an eloquent one as well. Hence my foray - this one time - into a situation that the entire world has grappled with for centuries.

Thanks Richard, for staying the course for a negotiated, peaceful, non-militant settlement between Israel and Palestine.

Other Distractions

2007-11-02T07:52:00.000-07:00

Photo by Richard Silverstein*

More Reasons For Sporadic Blogging
Continuing the list of activities that consume too much of my time, we have this goody - finding the best set of plans for a home-built wooden kayak.

The criteria are:
1.) It must be wood since I have zero plastic-working skills;
2.) It must be somewhat simple in design so that someone with intermediate woodworking skills can complete it without investing in major league power tools;
3.) It must be out of the workshop in time for Spring hiking and trout fishing.

Have I found one? Not yet, but the research is delicious!
This particular design intrigues me because a close friend is thinking of taking a kayak trip down the Willamette river from Corvallis to Oregon City, Oregon. That gives me plenty of time to build one, increase my daily workout to focus on stamina and take my self-imposed lessons on surviving a rollover incident.

That will put a crimp in my blogging but increase my inventory of nature photos. Not a bad trade off!

*See www.richardsilverstein.com. It's a great site!

NASCAR Sister Flogs The Blogger

2007-10-31T08:49:00.000-07:00

Where Does The Time Go?

NASCAR Sister tactfully reminded me today that once again this site is in remission. Gentle reminders like, "What are doing with all of your time bro?" and. "Why don't you post more often?"

She's right. When my life is on a roll, my priorities take a hit, and lately blogging has been DOA. So, let's correct the situation and bring everyone up-to-date on what was so darned important that Father Time couldn't spend five minutes on the laptop!

Here's One Distraction

Yes it's a dog. Son and SigO's Dog. He's also a fan of an Oregon university whose football team is nationally ranked. To clarify, any dog who is NOT a football fan is merely - a dog. Nothing else. Just a dog.

But as you can see, this is not just a dog. This is a Duck Dog. And, as the second photo shows, he's happy with or without his "uniform." Why we do this to our pets is a mystery to me. The worst part, however, is the dog doesn't even know the team's fight song!

I can handle that!

Family and Tailgating

Now, here's another time-consumer in the fall. Tailgating! We get together in a parking lot and set up an organic juice bar. Every conceivable fruit juice is available. Notice how happy it makes the participants. The happy couple pictured here includes my daughter - the one wearing the Duck hat.

Tomorrow we'll review some other meaningful social activities that happen around The Place. Maybe!

Finally!

2007-10-15T12:07:00.000-07:00

Father Time has been looking for a Shaker-inspired end table design. The idea started with the traditional long legged Shaker side table, but needed to be lower to fit into today's more relaxed interior designs.

My obvious non-original idea showed up in an advertisement for "particle board" furniture featured at a local store. So, the only thing original about my version will be the fact that it's 100% solid cherry.

"Better late than inexpensive" is my new motto.

Did You Know?

2007-10-14T08:09:00.000-07:00

Little Known Fact - Maybe

Did you know that you can see an enlarged version of the pictures posted here by clicking on the picture? (The photo on the previous post really comes to life when expanded; however, if you try that with my profile picture, you just see the winner of the Freddy Krueger look-alike contest!)

OK, So It's My Time Of Year

2007-10-11T10:13:00.000-07:00

Declaration Of Bias
I'm a "seasons" fan. My outlook and energy levels are never higher than during the equinoxes and solstices. If we had eight distinct seasons rather than four, I would be in Nirvana. However, overwhelming my senses, an acknowledged character flaw, (along with sniffing a good Pinot Noir well beyond the requisite 15 seconds), to the best of my knowledge, is neither harmful nor addictive.

Hidden Agenda
So, this picture of the Columbia Gorge not only lets me indulge myself, but concurrently performs a semi-public service. If you happen to be reading The Good Rain by Timothy Egan, this picture can help you attain some great mental images.

Enjoy! Envy is OK too.

Special Request

2007-10-09T06:55:00.000-07:00

Here's another reason to leave civilization behind and see what nature has to offer. There are no sirens, dogs barking, or hammers pounding away building new homes. Instead, it offers a glimpse of where we were before we decided that seeing inside our neighbor's kitchen was more important than seeing wilderness. Sorry for the cynicism. Not like me at all. I'm from the "live and let live" school of tribalism; must need more coffee!

And what about the "Special Request?"
It's for a good friend in the Midwest whom, I'm sure, has scenery to rival this. Enjoy!

Some Benefits Of Maturity

2007-10-08T09:50:00.000-07:00

Hijacked "Thoughts For The Day"

Reporters interviewing a 104-year-old woman:
"And what do you think is the best thing
about being 104?" the reporter asked.
She simply replied, "No peer pressure."
-Author Unknown

I'm not tired. I'm just more relaxed.
-Father Time

And that's the truth!

Backpacking Weather Turns Wet

2007-10-07T09:01:00.000-07:00

Hobby Or Obsession?
If you have followed this blog in the past, you know one of my passions is getting out in the woods for a few days of solitude. Since this summer was a blur of unexpected activities that controlled me rather than vice versa, my secret affair with Mother Nature is now limited to the few remaining days of semi-temperate, but continuously changing weather. So, when I get wet, I get really wet! And why do I torture myself like this?

The answer is evident in this picture, as well as literally hundreds of other breathtaking back-country scenes that keep me coming back for more. There's plenty of time to be dry when I get home, so this method of recharging of my inner being is worth every moment of discomfort.

Thus endeth the sermon for today. Drip, drip.

New Look Means Means I'm Back

2007-10-04T16:42:00.001-07:00

Where Has Father Time Been?
No posts in September. No explanations or prior warnings. Was it just plain old American negligence?

"Yes."

The prosecution rests.

Making Amends
OK, I confess - I was dogging it and just having too much fun. But, there is an upside if you are one of the few who has ever followed this blog. Things look different but the posts will follow the same format; my overarching guidelines are still chaos, randomness, and the exercise of free will - my free will. Maybe.

I'm back and will be just as serious or goofy, philosophically heavy or sardonic, satirical or whimsical, and just plain off the wall as ever.

Is This Good News?
It is for me because now my conscience is clear, my soul is relieved, and my feelings of guilt are in high gear! Life is good.

Thought For The Day
"It's scary when you start making the same noises as your coffee maker."

No joke!

Communications

2007-08-27T08:30:00.000-07:00

I used to love the convenience of having a cell phone. That is, until my current iteration decided to die unexpectedly. Back to the store; phone replaced under warranty. Less than 24 hours later, new phone dies. Repeat steps 1 and 2.

Guess what? This morning new phone #3 is dead.

I am by nature a happy person. This is merely a test to see if I have character flaws that have been unknown until know.

They may be on to something.

Another Failed Attempt At Wisdom.

2007-08-22T08:46:00.000-07:00

Did you ever notice that when life becomes hectic, everything that can happen does happen? Conversely,when a crisis is over, an abundance of spare time that is out of proportion to the time spent in crisis, emerges from nowhere?

This undoubtedly will go down as one of my strangest posts ever!

August 16 -NASCAR Sister's Birthday Is Today

2007-08-14T18:05:00.000-07:00

In keeping with a long-held tradition, the celebration of NASCAR Sister's birthday will again feature another installment of her biography, much to the delight of her children and especially, her co-workers!
This is not made up. It's the straight scoop! (Truth is hallmark of this blog!)

NASCAR Is Aging Gracefully

Believe your eyes! Yes, NASCAR Sister has not changed one bit in the past 40 years. Notice how slight the difference is between her 5th grade picture and a current portrait. This is truly a testament to her strict regime of intensive physical training coupled with a healthy diet of Fritos dipped in warm butter and Budweiser. Oh, how I admire her awesome willpower!

NASCAR Sister Is A Leader In Environmental Education!

NASCAR sister's current job involves taking knowledge starved young students for walks in the forest. Look closely at the picture on the left and you will see one of the many wild animals indigenous to her region. She routinely confronts these vicious beasts, debilitates them with her perfume, then drags them back to her office for all to see. On the right we see a bright young student who has recently returned from one of Sister's pilgrimages, expressing her appreciation for an exciting day spent increasing her knowledge of the great outdoors.

Remember Cool Dude?
Well, NASCAR Sister's better half (sexism intentional), also known as Cool Dude has retired after an illustrious career as a PortaPotty Drag Racing Engineer. As you see, has turned his considerable talents to motorcycle design. Clearly, his experience in PortaPotty design is reflected in this masterpiece. Way to go Cool Dude!
NASCAR Sister Finally Buys A House
After searching the country far and wide, she finally found her dream home. It was a fixer-upper, but now, after almost a solid year of hard work, we see the finished estate. Once again, I am so envious of Sister's success in everything she does, I can only respond like this!

So THERE NASCAR Sister!
Out of spite, I'm forced to include a picture of NASCAR Sister's first boy friend. When she sees this picture she is typically overcome with lust and lascivious thoughts. The last time I did this, she begged me to destroy the picture, but I didn't! BWAHAHAHA!

Art Imitates Life

2007-08-14T12:20:00.000-07:00

Is this amazing or what? I've always heard that each of us has their double somewhere on the planet. But when one randomly surfs the Internet and sees an exact likeness of a friend, how freaky is that?

Now on to more important things:

Coming Attractions Nearing Completion

1.) Father Time presents The Fly doing his impression of Rodney Dangerfield

2.) Father Time's annual review of the life of NASCAR sister, in time for her birthday on August 16th.

Can you feel the excitement building? If you do, get a grip!

Milepost 68 - Returning To A Normal Life

2007-08-11T08:41:00.000-07:00

In the beginning

Here's to living a relatively normal life, if that means anything in our current culture. 2007 has been an "interesting" year for Father Time and family, especially if you use the Chinese translation of the word "interesting." Somewhere between chaotic and a Level 5 hurricane would be apropos. (No disrespect to Katrina victims intended - just a metaphor to lay groundwork for the following:)

Let's take inventory.

Loss of Mother In Law after a 5-month illness;
Recurrence of breast cancer in Mrs. Time;
Prostate operation for yours truly;
Return of son from college with a truckload of furniture;

That's about it. Pretty average compared to the travails some people face daily, monthly, and permanently.

Take Fly for instance.

At this point, Henny Youngman would prompt me to say, "No, you take Fly. I can't take him anymore."

Fly has lived in the desert, commuted cross country to take a job with a mystery company, now lives in the South, and works at a job that is so secret that even he doesn't know what it is or where it's located. Now that's "interesting."

Henny Youngman

Now Fly enters and says, "Who the heck is Henny Youngman?"

That's to be expected from any pseudo-historian whose primary focus is war.

As a public service to those under the age of 25, here are some examples of Henny Youngman:

I'd commit suicide, if I could do it without killing myself.

My wife and I got remarried. Our divorce didn't work out.

Some people play a horse to win, some to place. I should have bet this horse to live.

I made a killing in the stock market. I shot my broker.

There were three kids in my family. One of each sex.

My wife has a keen sense of humor. The more I humor her, the better.

He's an agent now. He must know talent. He gave up acting.

Most girls are attracted to the simple things in life. Like men.

I'll never forget my first words in the theatre. "Peanuts. Popcorn."

He had a defect, which to a comic might be fatal. He wasn't funny.

In conclusion

That's all folks!

Next installment - The Fly's impression of Rodney Dangerfield.

Never Say Die

2007-07-12T09:53:00.001-07:00

OK. So I've been lax in tending to my blogging duties. Agreed. No argument. I won't even make excuses, because they would be so emotionally charged, and intellectually challenging, that even I won't understand what's going on in my life.

So..........I will carve up the past four weeks into bite-size chunks and offer them one at a time so as not to overwhelm anyone. One of us being overwhelmed is enough!

Cio!

Why Do People Do The Things They Do?

2007-06-19T08:14:00.000-07:00

Sometimes, I am completely mystified by the things people do to their pets. Here's a good example.

OK, so maybe this is their way of "expressing creativity." Give me a break!

This is starting to sound like Andy Rooney isn't it? And another thing....

Go to any major university book store. Go to the section where they sell sweatshirts and team spirit items. I will bet you there are at least four or five "uniforms" for your dog or cat....in different sizes yet!

I need to get a grip. I'll be back when I calm down.

Stuff Father Time Wants

2007-05-30T07:26:00.000-07:00

Disclaimer

Don't worry. Father Time hasn't gone materialistic on you. This is, once again, one more ill-fated attempt at humor, using The Fly as my foil. In all honesty, I recommend you stop here and pursue something meaningful, like taking inventory of your toilet paper supply, or waxing the dog. You'll find it's time well spent.

The List

Here goes:

A wooden hand plane so I look good when I mutilate things in my workshop. Notice the actual picture instead of cheesy "links" that take you to parts of the Internet rarely seen by humans. Now check out The Fly's list.
I rest my case.

A 5 quart stainless steel saucier so I only have to wash one pan when I cook. Right now I use one to saute, another to make the sauce, and another to combine the ingredients, and finally a dish to serve it in. Four vs one? Makes sense to me.

That's It!

See how easy it is? When you have everything, you don't need much.

Now,compare my list with The Fly's list. It drones on endlessly with stuff from the UK, things that you need when you get into combat (with whom?), CD's by groups that have never had musical training, TV reruns, and books by guys that are dead.

Who knows? Maybe I'll invite The Fly to a debate on materialism. It'll be like shooting fish in a barrel.

Nothing New Under The Sun?

2007-05-23T08:04:00.000-07:00

Never Say Never
Back in the early 60's, I had a chance to work on some GM prototypes that had monster rear wings and front air dams, not unlike the ones shown here.

Historical perspective - GM was being pushed by the new generation of "safety-ites", who felt the big boats GM was building were unsafe due to "poor handling" (and that's the polite way to say it!)

So the R&D boys sent us some Electra 225 4-door sedans with wings and air damns, similar to these, except, to be perfectly honest, about half the size. We all had a good chuckle since GM's standard guidance to it's engineers was that any innovation had to be "commercially acceptable."

Without a doubt, our prototypes were sorry examples of anything anyone would buy. But we tested them anyway and sent back data showing improved handling at 80+ mph. At that time our little group conceded that none of us would ever see anything like those monstrosities again.

So "Never" Came To Be

When I saw these pictures I realized that the word "never" comes with time limits! Somebody, somewhere will always prove you wrong if you use "never" in a conversation.

And another one bites the dust!

And You Thought The Last Post Was Ugly!

2007-05-21T21:03:00.000-07:00

OK, so I'm not Yul Brynner; even Popeye is better looking.

Mother Time is going through chemo right now so a couple of us decided to join the "no-hair" brigade. Good idea at the time. Bad idea in execution.

Hmmmm, speaking of executions - oh never mind!

Even Uglier News!

Father Time's 50th high school reunion in Michigan occurs on September 8, 2007, which begs the following questions:

Do you think enough hair will grow back that the airlines will let me board without running my fingerprints through an FBI database?

Do you think that the flight attendants will draw straws with the loser having to wait on me?

Will my former classmates call 911 when I show up at the reunion?

Will my relatives in Michigan disown me?

Hey! What would life be like without a few challenges?

The correct answer is "Pretty sweet!"

Father Time's Early Warning System

2007-05-18T07:36:00.001-07:00

Why is this man NOT on somebody's wanted list?

This is a picture of The Fly.

Why this picture is not posted on some website that specializes in warning people of animal predators, nudist camp rejects, or offspring of famous hit men, is a complete mystery to me.

After viewing this picture on the blog Thus Saith The Fly, I am compelled to warn all my decent and non-dysfunctional friends (both of you) that this is beyond scary. It's scary at a level that even exceeds the spectre of world-wide terrorism.

What are the consequences of viewing this photograph even though your rationale mind tells you something this hideous cannot be real?

Take heed my friends and do not look at this picture for an excessive amount of time. In shock, I allowed my eyes to view it for more than 30 seconds. I am now completely color blind and have fuzzy vision, even without consuming a couple of glasses of Chardonnay or a pint of Guinness!

That's powerful.

Conclusion (Finally)

The world we know has changed. When one sees something like this and realizes it is looking at the future, one can only conclude that suicide is a viable option afterall!

Tribute To A Great Lady 1924 - 2007

2007-05-17T09:17:00.000-07:00

Cleo Loreen Griffith - Wife, Mother, Grandmother, Great-grandmother.

She will best remembered for her love of people, especially her immediate family. Her husband Bill, who died in 1980, was the love of her life. However, when Cleo became a grandmother, her need to love found an outlet in her first grandchild. She became a grandmother three more times and spent as much time as she could with all of them. And, since she lived next door to all four, they always knew where to go for cookies, ice cream, or someone to bandage their little cuts and scrapes.

Cleo was warm, caring, and fun-loving. She loved to dance, listen to music, talk with friends for hours, laugh and plan pot-luck dinners. Her reputation for cooking earned her a reputation as the “Queen of Comfort Food.” She also loved to knit, crochet, and do needlepoint. Everyone who was close to her owns one of her famous Afghans. She had an eye for color, and could always be depended upon to produce bright colorful blankets that are considered heirlooms by her family.

However, Cleo was also infamous for her knitted slippers that she always gave her family at Christmas. Now, if they had been used to keep feet warm, that would be considered normal; but, when we all learned they were fantastic for sliding across large expanses of waxed wooden floors, a whole new sport evolved! Once everyone had their slippers on, the running, racing, and sliding would go on until someone crashed into something or broke something or, as was the norm, the slippers wore out!

Cleo was also her grandchildren’s favorite philanthrophy! Every school raffle, candy or cookie sale, or field trip could depend on Cleo’s generosity. When her grandchildren needed to sell anything, they knew Grandma was a complete softy, and would buy anything they had to sell. An addded plus was that it was cookies or cand, most likely they would get them back in a week or two as a present. In short, Cleo was the grandmother from heaven that every kid hopes for.

When two of her grandchildren moved with their family to Albany in 1986, Cleo followed shortly thereafter, declaring, “No stranger is going to baby-sit MY grandchildren!” Every Christmas, Thanksgiving, Easter, and birthday found Cleo sitting at her daughter's kitchen table, consuming potato chips and clam dip,(and on a rare occasion Bourbon and Seven) and offering advice on how to cook the best turkey gravy the world has ever known.

And finally, Cleo was best known by most of us for her sense of humor. Even in her final days, when she was declining rapidly, she loved to joke and kid with the staff who were her caregivers. Even though she was a mere shadow of her old self, she was still the great lady most of us remembered; a woman who filled so many lives with joy and laughter.

Cleo was one of a kind and will be sorely missed by all of us. Heaven is a better place today, if only for the improvement in its turkey gravy!

Ma' Truck

2007-05-14T08:04:00.000-07:00

Cool eh? To haul bark dust, just pile up 10 or 12 bags from Home Depot. No muss, no fuss.

I need one of these NOW!

Contact!

2007-05-12T18:04:00.001-07:00

Found The Key, Turned The Ignition, and Started The Engine.

I think my engine is working again after a short period of burn-out. The grieving process takes longer in some of us.

Tomorrow I will go back to semi-regular posting.

Tomorrow I will release some pent-up issues that have been building for the past 30 days.

Expect some goofy cars, verbal assaults on The Fly, and the usual off-the-wall stories of life in the slow lane.

How's that for "pent-up?"

The Plan

2007-04-22T10:04:00.000-07:00

I recently received an e-mail asking me if this blog was dead. My usual smart a-- reply was, "Only if you think it is." Personally, I have not ordered an atopsy yet. Nor will I. It's just the grieving process is taking longer than I thought.

My mind is now bubbling, once again, with at least 52 new ideas. Coming soon to a blog near you!

Out.

Time Is Of The Essence

2007-04-08T07:29:00.000-07:00

FDA Warning - Don't Read This If You're Young!

An important part of a retiree's life is good use of time management skills. I, like many other retired people,(I'm sure), had the mistaken idea that I would be flooded with available time to meander around doing whatever I pleased. Boy was I ever wrong!

To date, I've completed about 12 items on a list that I prepared in 2003 when I retired. Unfortunately, I've added 66 new items that have a higher priority. If they all fell into one category, like reading, or making more furniture, or catching more trout, I would consider things under control. But such is not the case. Almost every item is distinct, unique, and unlike any of the other items. The good news is almost every "to do" item is something I would enjoy, and hence the joyful part of being retired.

Note to self. Maybe I'll try attaching long-range time frames to my list and see how old I'll be when everything has been completed. My game plan calls for moving on to my next stop - whether it's earth-bound, interplanetary, or ghostly, in about 20 years. That's the last item on the list - and it will never move.

Out.

Father Shall Return

2007-04-03T20:28:00.000-07:00

A slowdown in the seemingly endless numbers of family issues is in sight - at least to the degree that I should have time to post some more nonsense from my dysfunctional mind. I don't know about you, but that is good news as far as I'm concerned.

(Re-reading what I just wrote, I couldn't help but notice all of the "casual talk", I.E. as far as I'm concerned and I don't know about you. Delete all of that conversational stuff and you simply have "Good News!")

Out

Patient, Recovering Patient, Caregiver, Chauffer, Cook, Housekeeper, Appointment Maker, & Bill Payer

2007-03-16T20:45:00.000-07:00

Notice something missing in the title? Like blogger?

In the words of that famous American military hero and war strategist, The Fly, "I shall return."

This Is Not Supposed To Be A Weekly Blog

2007-03-05T19:40:00.000-08:00

My apologies for the lack of posts, but right now my life is a full freaking oyster! An immediate family member in the final days of her visit on earth, an ailing spouse, and my previously noted "minor procedure" at a local hospital; am I a fun guy or what?

So, as is our custom here in the Pacific Northwest, when one wants to make amends, one offers food! (How about that segue?)

Enjoy!

Return

2007-02-26T07:00:00.000-08:00

After a couple of days in our local hospital (enjoying what is laughingly referred to as a "minor procedure"), I'm back and feeling great. During my stay I was pleasantly surprised to discover hospitals have finally figured out a few things about customer service.

First, everyone I dealt with was friendly and extremely courteous. Second, everyone wanted to know if I had any questions before they left. It's amazing how much more comfortable one is when one knows what the hell is going on with all the tubes, bags, buzzers, monitors, etc.

My third discovery was one of the best - a meal menu that would make any good restaurant envious! When I was hungry, I picked up the menu with its formidable list, and called room service. Within 10 minutes my meal was delivered by a smiling "waiter" who always checked to make sure it was prepared the way I requested. And finally, the food was GREAT! Unbelievable!

The only downside to the whole experience was a nurse who awakened me at 2:00 AM to find out if I was in pain. (When's the last time you slept soundly when you were in pain?) Some things never change but the good news is - I had to look for something to complain about. And that is really great news!

Where Is Father Time Now?

2007-02-18T09:18:00.000-08:00

Have you ever looked at the calendar and said, "What happened to the last two weeks?" I find this happening more and more. In fact, I just noticed the date of my last post - February 7, 2007. So in my situation, what is the answer?

Let's see; first on the list is my Hospice volunteer work. Two patients plus a member of my immediate family equals almost three hours per day. Day hikes around the area to stay in shape for warm weather backpacking season, about two hours/day. Taking care of my kid's dogs while they're in Hawaii, who knows? On average at least an hour/day. Since we have a Sheltie, the addition of a Pug and a long-haired Chihuahua creates the trifecta from hell.

Woodworking? Maybe two hours a week right now, but that time is about to explode exponentially! New wood and furniture repair projects are starting to occupy too much room in the shop, so the cure is simple. Get your butt out there and start making sawdust! Oh ya.

Finally, blogging. Maybe ten minutes/day to read and look for comments. Actually, considering the number of comments I receive, I can add ten minutes to my cramped schedule by skipping that activity completely.

What happened to reading, research, and writing? Zilch. But enough complaining. I don't have time.

Happy trails!

Once Again The Fly Scoops Father Time

2007-02-07T17:27:00.000-08:00

Why am I always the last to hear about cool new cars? Yes, The Fly ambushed me again with this picture of his new ride.

I am SO envious!

Annual Picture Of P-38

2007-02-04T09:15:00.000-08:00

Father Time's Place was officially one year old in November 2006. This means tradition now becomes an element requiring action on my part. I, therefore, have no choice but to recognize certain "features" (tongue-in-cheek) deserving of annual recognition at this hallowed site.

With that in mind, I'm again posting a picture of my all-time favorite aircraft, the Lockheed P-38 Lightning. If gasoline wasn't so expensive, this would definitely be my commuter vehicle of choice. Incidentally, this is not about bombs or machine guns or weapons of mass destruction. It's about a truly innovative and incredible piece of aeronautical engineering. And it's cool!

Long live tradition. (Yes that's a play on words, but what else do I have to do with my time?)

Coming attractions: a much requested repeat of the "NO TOMATOES" chili recipe and another chapter in the life of NASCAR Sister.

Pacificism Vs Reality - Part 1

2007-01-26T16:36:00.000-08:00

Pacifism Vs Respect For Tradition
OK, I confess. I'm a pacifist at heart. Why? Because many years ago I concluded the need to fight was only a primitive survival tactic left over from our cave dwelling days, and was no longer something intelligent people needed to do in order to survive.

I expect someone out there will say, "Father Time are you suggesting that people who say their survival is dependent on their willingness to go to war are not very smart?"

"Kinda sounds that way doesn't it?" the old man saith. But, let me qualify my response by saying the question is an oversimplification of the real issue. Sane people do not sit idly by and let someone beat them down. Sane people will use whatever tactics are necessary, including fighting, to defend themselves from their attackers. And intelligent sane people use force as a last resort. Notice, I said last resort. I did not say the threat of force, but the actual use of force when all other avenues are closed. There's a BIG difference between making a threat and actually unleashing the dogs, and that is where we go awry.

But, you might ask, "What about those who have served and died in wars while protecting our country?" My answer is simple - I have nothing but respect for them. The courage and patriotism they demonstrated deserves the highest honor this nation can bestow upon one of its citizens. If I was Commander-in-Chief, the Medal of Honor would be presented to every veteran (or surviving next-of-kin) who ever served honorably in combat defending our nation.

Having said that, and knowing that I too served, albeit peacetime duty, why would I embrace the concept of pacifism? For one simple reason (and now we have come full circle); war is symbolic of our primitive instincts.

My reading and research indicate I have a degree of support for my theory. Some of the most learned scholars from both ancient and modern times embraced a philosophy of non-violence.

Note: Part Two will discuss some of people who are known for embracing the concept of non-violence. Part Three will survey some folks who believe war is as natural as breathing, and Part Four will conclude with What Is A Just War?, (Thanks Fly). This all depends, of course, in my not losing interest in the whole topic and going off on the evils of backpacking or something even more heinous.

The Yin and Yang of Wheels

2007-01-21T16:56:00.000-08:00

Some of you may remember I worked for General Motors in my post-college days. Therefore, the wonderful world of cars will always command a place of honor at Father Time's Place.

Which naturally brings us to the subject of wheels. The trend these days is to feature bigger and bigger rims which supposedly reflect the owner's desire to compensate for his/her shortcomings. Thus, we see cars on the street like this Dodge Magnum, a model whose name alone reflects the owner's comfort with his/her masculinity. Ahem!

Therefore, once again, it's up to Father Time to be a trend setter, as seen in this great photo of a Chevy Impala with - tiny wheels! I ask you, if cars are an extension of one's ego, why not be honest about it!

And yes, there ARE wheels on this car. Just look closely. They are there. The good news? You can carry about 24 spares in the trunk. Believe me, you'll need all of them.

Weapons Of Mass Operator Destruction

2007-01-19T08:55:00.000-08:00

Father Time did a turn with the Army in the early 60's. Luckily, we were between Korea and Viet Nam, so my combat duty consisted mainly of getting up at 4:00AM on Monday with a raging headache from Sunday night's training exercises at the Blue Goose in Leesville, Louisiana. I knew serving my country would be tough but this was beyond the call of duty!
At any rate, one of our most "feared" weapons was a 106mm recoilless rifle mounted on the back of an ordinary jeep. Being an engineering student in civilian life, my curiosity was aroused when the term "recoilless" was used to discuss this fearsome, yet brilliant, product of our best military minds. (Remember, mind altering drugs were in vogue back in those days!)

This cool diagram shows the principle of 106mm "rifle." Note that a large portion of the gases produced by the explosive, exits the rear of the gun, offsetting a portion of the recoil that is normally present in any weapon that hurls a huge projectile out of its barrel. So, it has to have some recoil in order to eject the projectile - absorbed by the jeep, but best of all, it would fry anyone standing behind the weapon with hot exhaust. We tried using the exhaust gas to roast wieners, but for some reason, we just ended up with a burnt stick and no hot dog! Life was not looking out for our best interests!

With a straight face, our training sergeants told us that this Jeep/106mm combo was a feared "tank killer." Strategically, we would drive the Jeep into raging combat, aim the 106mm at a tank, fire, and take off before the tank could fire back. Right! Rumor had it that the crew of this unbelievable weapon had a combat life expectancy of about 45 seconds!

At this point Father Time's brilliant mind went to work and came up with this! Since it was a foregone conclusion the crew would die in a matter of minutes, what if we mounted the 106mm on a motor scooter? We could cut the number of casualties in half!

I submitted my idea to the Army Weapons Lab on February 6, 1961, and am still waiting for an answer. Patience is a virtue.

Father Time's Backyard

2007-01-18T15:41:00.000-08:00

Yes friends, these guys were hanging out in my backyard this morning! The pathetic photography comes from trying to take a flash picture through a window. Unfortunately, this was my only option since anything else would have scared them off.

My sheltie Joey confided to me that these were the biggest sheep he had ever seen!

Some Thoughts About War & Politics

2007-01-16T19:04:00.000-08:00

My endless debate with The Fly over the insanity of war has led me to research the views of contemporary as well as historical minds. My primary focus is the rationale they use to support their views for or against war.

Now granted, the late Libertarian Harry Browne is not usually considered one of the great minds of our time; however what he said resonates with my current feelings: (And after all, isn't that what research really is - trying to find someone who agrees with you?) Browne had strong views on the impact of politicians in leading their nation to declare war on another country.

He said, "Whenever (a nation) goes to war somewhere, the politicians tell their constituents that diplomacy was tried and failed — and that war was the very, very, very last resort.

But the truth is that the politicians didn't try much at all to avoid war. And the diplomacy was bound to fail, because it involved politicians making insensitive demands on another country — demands they had no authority to make, demands that were known in advance to be unacceptable to the other nation.

In the few cases when America has been attacked, it's been because our politicians were trying to dictate to other countries. Typically they were countries that represented no threat to us at all. Those countries who did attack us were either trying to gain an advantage against the stronger U.S. when our government had made war seem inevitable (as at Pearl Harbor), or because attacking seemed the only way to strike back at a country that was throwing its weight around in other people's business (as in 9/11).

I grant you, Harry was a bit extreme, but not far away from the reality of Washington. I still fight the idea we are in Iraq because of oil. But I don't fight the idea that the "official" reasons have never been (nor will they ever be) revealed. Whatever the reasons, real or imagined by a paranoid Father Time, our being there today is just plain wrong - a totally needless waste of American money and troops. Resources we can ill afford to squander and desperately needed by our own people. Resources squandered by an administration that refuses to listen to its own citizens. Resources squandered by an arrogant administration that feels it knows more than the electorate.

Thus endeth the rant! My apologies to those have followed Father Time's Place for the past year, and came here looking for comic relief. I shall return!

Next up, some thoughts from ancient philosophers who felt war was inevitable. It will be tough for me to digest, but in my 67 years, I've digested a lot. Especially the past six years!

Father Time Shops For An Airplane

2007-01-14T11:10:00.000-08:00

Despite saying this was the The Year Of Being Serious, I couldn't resist this picture!

I wonder how much lessons cost?

If Life Was A Movie Review

2007-01-12T07:15:00.000-08:00

Mine would start with something original like this.

Father Time is The Whirling Dervish.
That would work for openers.

Synopsis:
What is a "Whirling Dervish" anyways? You'll be sorry you asked. Wikipedia, that infallible source of truth says:

The Mevlevi Order or the Mevleviye are a Sufi order founded by the followers of Jalal ad-Din Muhammad Rumi in 1273 in Konya, (in Turkey at present). They are also known as the Whirling Dervishes due to their famous practice of whirling as a form of dhikr (remembrance of Allah). Dervish is a common term for an initiate of the Sufi Path.

OK, So I'm not a Whirling Dervish
But I've really been busy.

To Readers of TSTF

My friend The Fly has promised his blog readers a response from me to his posts about the legitimacy of the war in Iraq.

To those hard-core Fly readers, I will respond as soon as I calm down following Bush's speech on Wednesday. When I'm enraged I have this tendency to spout off on issues that have no basis in fact, such as "war is bad", or "money for Iraq but funding cutbacks for the mentally ill in the US."

In an effort to respond with some degree of coherent thought, I'm finishing a book called On War by the German military philosopher Carl von Clausewitz. It attempts to prove that war is a good thing. I, on the other hand, believe it is nothing more than a continued demonstration of civilization's inability to control the primitive appetites our collective psyches possess.

Rating

This movie is rated "R" for rage. Stay tuned. I am.

Good Intentions Awaiting Execution

2007-01-03T20:50:00.000-08:00

The following is a public service announcement.

My recent hiatus from Father Time's Place provided time to contemplate the overall direction of this place and to develop some new content ideas.

As I noted in the last post, much will be the same but one new twist will become apparent - my willingness to tackle a controversial topic. For the past year, I've avoided venturing into topical issues, preferring to use indirect (but gentle) humor to tap dance around controversy. My rationale was simple - there are literally hundreds, if not thousands, of sites devoted to promoting and shaping thought. (Now the bad news.) However, by dodging the sticky stuff, I was also depriving myself of the therapeutic benefits of "getting something off my chest."

I am, if nothing else, a strong proponent of good mental hygiene. If I thought for one moment I was taking myself down the road to dysfunctionality, I would be horrified. Therefore I have decided to pursue controversy, if necessary, in order to avoid having my train ride to enlightenment derailed. At the same time, this doesn't mean I'm turning Father Time's Place into a pulpit. It just means we will be willing to play hard ball if the situation calls for it.

Harrumph! I feel better already!

New Year - New Look

2006-12-31T10:42:00.000-08:00

Time once again to refresh the old blog with some new formatting and colors. Next, we plan to make some changes in editorial direction as we move to a different part of the palette. Some of the old wacky sense of humor will persist, but I'm trying to tackle some issues of a more serious nature as well.

With a new year, as usual, I'm underwhelmed with good intentions. Why change a good thing?

Later y'all! And to all a Great New Year!

Taking Some Time Off

2006-12-16T08:04:00.000-08:00

Father Time's personal schedule for the next few weeks is crazy, and likely without computer access. That's a good thing for all of us!

Happy Holidays (or time off as the case may be.)

Railroad Track 101

2006-12-08T09:11:00.000-08:00

Whoa!

Rule 1 - Always lay tracks on solid ground!

Rule 2 - Always test new track with old lightweight boxcars before you bring in the heavy stuff.

Rule 3 - If you fail to implement Rule 1 and Rule 2, look for work in the financial industry.

Thus saith Father Time.