Farewell To A Great Friend

His name was Zippy. He didn't get his name because he was as slim and svelte as a greyhound, but because his tail never stopped twitching back and forth. His tail was a prime example of living perpetual motion.

He could move fast when necessary, but only if fun was the end game. For instance, if something was being dragged across the floor, he would wake up out of a sound sleep and pounce on it. Several of my leather belts have scratches on the ends as a testament to his vigilance and my sloppy early morning dressing habits.

His greatest feat occurred several years ago when our garden was attacked by moles. One morning as I was leaving for work, there were three dead moles lined up in a row on the driveway in front of the garage door, their heads pointing in the same direction. I felt better knowing I was not the only anal person in our household.

Mrs. Time will miss him greatly. Each morning Zippy would help himself to a big drink of water using whatever droplets were left over in the shower. After a quick clean up, he would jump up on the bed where Mrs. Time was reading and want a warm coffee cup massage. We knew he was in trouble two weeks ago when we noticed his tail wasn't twitching and he couldn't jump up on the bed.

The vet said it was some sort of mysterious neurological problem that was attacking his spine. First his tail went dead, then his right hind leg, and finally his left hind leg. It was progressing quickly and it was clear his days were numbered. Reluctantly, Mrs. Time and I went to the vet's office today and said goodbye to our faithful friend. It was one of the hardest things we've ever done.

Zippy, wherever you go, you will welcomed with open arms and loved dearly. It will automatically become a better place and no doubt be free of moles. There may or may not be a heaven for humans but I have no doubt there's a cool place for cats like you! Line 'em up big guy!

Serupticiously Becoming A Building Contractor

What Happened?

For the past several months, I have been planning a simple kitchen remodel. The most complex aspect of the project would be arriving at a amicable agreement with Mrs Time over color, lighting, cupboard design, and wood finish. I was hoping for a contemporary look, while Mrs Time wanted a more traditional feel. So we turned to our kids for additional opinions. Both of them demonstrated strong feelings that can be best described as, "Whatever."

Thus through this arduous process of give-and-take, we arrived a the final design - the more traditional feel. Clearly, my skills as a negotiator served me well. I caved on almost every area to maintain domestic harmony. Am I good or what?

The Fun Begins

The removal of the fluorescent lights to make way for track lighting revealed the former owners of the house had installed the lights themselves without assistance of an electrician. The four large fixtures covered up non-code wiring, wallboard cracks and holes, and with two of four fixtures, no electrical boxes to secure the wires! There were just holes poked in the ceiling with protruding wires that were so unbelievably unsafe I can't believe we lived here 18 years without an electrical failure or fire.

The solution - call in an electrician to rewire the whole thing, then a dry wall contractor to replace and refinish all of the cracked areas, and we should be looking good! In case you're keeping score, we now have two sub-contractors gainfully employed.

The Ceiling Caves In

That is not a figurative expression - it's the real thing! Apparently a water supply pipe between floors sprung a leak, causing a ceiling to partially collapse in one of our spare bedrooms. So, add a plumber to the mix. We decided that since we had some of the water pipes available for inspection, why not open it up even more and look at the other pipes? A little preventative maintenance before closing up the ceiling made sense. Incidentally, sense and cents sound alike but when it comes to sub-contractors, it should be sense and dollars - many of them!

Since we were looking at all the cool pipes running between floors, Mrs Time suggested this would be a great time to replace the entire shower stall in the master bath! $$$$$ later, another contractor enters the mix. This time we have a small project remodeler who will take over the shower stall and pipe replacement project, freeing me to return to the kitchen extravaganza. We'll use his dry wall crew to also repair the kitchen ceiling after the electrical guys finish their work.

I think this is what modern management consultants refer to as "synergy." It's so cool to be "modern."

Happy Ending

In the meantime, I keep busy building the new cabinets in the workshop and taking phone calls from sub-contractors who are called away on emergencies, (read "more lucrative") jobs. I'm sure this is only the first chapter in the remodeling adventure, and depending on my propensity to locate sources of stress, will be followed by at least four more chapters. Whether I have the stomach to write about any new disasters remains to be seen. Don't stay tuned. It may take awhile. Whoops! Gotta run answer the phone!

"Hello Max, how are you? Oh really? His whole house is flooded? That's a shame. See you in two weeks."

Are Big Cars A Thing Of The Past?

Please don't let this be a trend,
Apparently, Mercedes Benz still feels there is a place for large, I.E. expensive, automobiles in our future. For example, here's something they whipped up recently in their design studios.It almost looks like one of those big Chevrolet Impalas from 50's doesn't it?

Now, here's the really interesting part - the interior.
Specifically, note the driver's side. No steering wheel! In other words, this car will be a gamer's delight. If you're skilled at "Grand Theft Auto IV", you're right at home. Ironically, the new X-Box version of NASCAR requires a steering wheel. Isn't it fun to watch industry thrash around trying to find a lucrative marketing niche?

Would Father Time ever buy one of these?
Let's see. How should I answer that? How about a resounding, "NO!"