Yard Work - Part Two: Armegedon

And The Trees Come Tumbling Down

Here's where we started - a nicely landscaped back yard with big silver maples. Granted, they are still wearing their winter coat of barren branches, but when summer arrives, the leaves provide us with much needed shade, especially since this is the West facing side of our home. We knew it was going to be a sad couple of days as these majestic trees joined their friends in tree heaven.

For two days, chain saws sawed, branch grinders ground, while a crazy man in a hydraulic bucket rained heavy chunks of wood down on my neatly manicured lawn leaving mini bomb craters all over.

Bonneville Aftermath
After a crew of 9 "Natural Resource Specialists" (aka unemployed loggers) had finished, a total of seven trees were downed so they would not endanger the precious power lines that pass approximately 300 feet over our property.

Battle Fatigue
Things are quiet now. Sawdust covers my house and workshop. My dog LB looks at me with the battle weary eyes of a tired combat veteran. My other dog Joey is employing a little known stress reduction technique - nibbling his front paws for hours. I'm drinking fermented grape juice and suppressing anarchistic thoughts.

All is well.

Yard Work - Part One: Redesigning Your Property For Free

The title says it all!
Now, doesn't this sound exciting? If you're into piles of wood, stumps, and mounds of duff (wood chips mixed with dirt and chunks of root) then you've come to the right place.
My hope is those who love sawdust don't even know this blog exists. But since our backyard has undergone such a drastic change, those "insiders" whose names begin with "J" will have a permanent record of an exceptional non-event in the life of their mother (whose first name coincidentally also begins with "J".)

The Arrival of Bonneville's hit man.
His name is Carlos and he's very polished and suave. He explains their new policy now excludes trimming branches under power lines and only includes total annihilation of trees living happily underneath. It does not matter their power lines are about 200 feet over our yard and that no tree would ever grow that high. No, no, that's way too logical. Since they have the legal right-of-way, we can only watch as our beautiful backyard becomes the latest clear-cut in Oregon. (Luckily, we have tons of them in our National Forests so we won't have to deal with campers and tourists at all hours!)

To Be Continued
The next installment will deal with the exciting (and epic) adventures of Father Time-Urban Forester as he navigates the eccentricities and mine-bending complexities of a Federal Government Agency. (Note to Homeland Security: I am old, weak, and helpless; a veteran, a true patriot, and devoted centrist. Do not fear me. That's my kid's job.)