Springtime And A Young Man's Thoughts Turn To .....Crop Dusting

OK, so I'm not a romanticist. Plus, I thought it was once again time to post an airplane picture. That's it. No hidden meanings, no rants, no nothing. (I wonder what the pilot does for a living now? Probably retired and blogging! I wonder if his last name is "Time?")

True Confessions

Both of my readers have sent me e-mails similar to this:

Father Time. You show us pictures of cool cars, your first cars, weird cars, but at no time have you shown us what you drive. Are you still able to drive, and if so, what make and model?"

I knew this would happen eventually, so I had two choices.
1.) Find a picture of something cool and say it was mine, or
2.) Take a picture of my vehicle and tell the truth.

Thanks to the fine example set by DT Strain I have decided to take the high road and tell it like it is. Presenting my '96 GMC Sonoma. It has 143,00+ miles on it and it runs like it did when it was new. For my backpacking activities, for hauling bark dust and dirt for Younger Wife, for commuting to the big city to buy wood for my furniture building, I couldn't ask for anything better.

So there it is - the unvarnished truth (a woodworker pun.) Enjoy, while I read up on how to improve my picture taking skills.

Deep Thoughts

When we live for today, we end our day thinking about tomorrow.
Tomorrow, when we try to live for the day, we end up acting out what we thought about the night before. So, tonight I will go to sleep and not think about tomorrow. That way I can get back to living for the day - tomorrow.

See what I said about complex thinking? There simply is no need for it.

Quote Of The Day

General Motors (GM) At 2:13PM ET: $22.19 Down 0.56
Not FDIC insured.

Remember, It's Only Money

Three different concept cars, three different target markets.



On the right, a VW with a W-12 engine. Remember the Bugatti a few posts back? It was a W-16. When someone builds a W-4 Harley, I'm in!

Second down is a Cadillac Cien, clearly aimed at Discount Dan in Vegas land. I bet he would sell his most precious asset - a '92 Honda Accord - for one of these. Nah.

Third, is my car (well, should be) - a new Shelby design. If my expectations are correct, it should handle well, have tons of power, and get me from Point A to Point B in a state of complete ecstasy. Oh ya.

So, summing up, we have three cars, all capable of becoming production vehicles, but unfortunately, not in the foreseeable future.

Russian Threat

We depart from cars to show you the latest secret weapon from Russia. My friend The Fly, who is a military historian, informs me that while the US has been preoccupied with Afghanistan and Iraq, the Russians have secretly been working on this weapon of mass destruction. My engineering instincts tell me that while it certainly has earned the "mass" descriptor, I have serious concerns about the "destruction" part. "City in turmoil after being hit by 5 lb bag of flour?" or "Massive casulties after citizens laugh to death?"

The Tire Store Loves This Car

Isn't The Second From The Back A Little Low? Imagine spending an extra half hour at the gas station while you checked tire pressures. I'm sure the Michelin Man personally designed this beauty. Questions abound - front wheel drive or rear wheel? How many axles do you remove in order to replace the muffler?

Father Time is too practical for this kind of thing. Suffice it to say this is just another really unusual car.

Car Picture Of The Day

The engineering excellence shown here is obvious. Why have several exhaust pipes when one big one will do the job? Ecology at work! This picture is dedicated to Discount Dan in Las Vegas who needs to replace his '92 Honda Accord. This will clearly set you apart from the other old geezers in Santa Fe!

Father Time Moves Out To The Garage

What's up with the garage thing?

Well, it seems the world of automobiles is a passion I must live with; one that refuses to run out of gas. (I'm setting up The Fly for some more of his putrid puns.) So, until I'm struck with another brilliant idea (I had one in 1981), we're going out to the garage and mess around with all things automotive. What's really cool about this, is the wide range of topics I can play with. Having fun is what retirement is about; at least that's the case at Father Time's Place, er, Garage.

The GM Story - Part II - Why Car Buying Is Like A Root Canal

Another Example Of Corporate Ego At Work
(and I'm not talking about the car of the future pictured here!)
One of the challenges of buying a new car is the humiliating experience of dealing with a salesperson who wants to play games. During my tenure with Buick in Southern California, I noticed the majority of my dealers were advocates of "shell game" selling. GM itself taught this style of selling at its Training Centers scattered throughout the US, (in addition to training mechanics for local GM dealers.) To my way of thinking, this was promoting something that was, in reality, creating barriers for people who wanted to purchase cars from a GM Dealership.

How The Game Works

Privately, I discussed this with a couple of dealers whom I held in high regard. In their minds, they were employing "experienced salespeople" who were skilled in "turnover selling" a.k.a. TO sales. In it's purest form, TO utilizes a "front" person whose only job is to solicit an "offer to buy" without divulging the actual price the dealer is willing to accept. Then a manager steps in and "negotiates" the final price. If the negotiation was based on a win-win scenario, it would not be a humbling experience; in fact the process would almost be a positive experience.

Unfortunately, as most of us know, these negotiations are based on a win-lose concept, becoming a game of wits - matching ours against their half-wits. If we are even half-way successful, then we're subjected to the finance & insurance (or F & I) person who now assaults us with lifetime paint protection, upholstery guard, extended warranties, burglary insurance, and high-rate financing.

Could The Game Be Changed?

Most respectable businesses that use direct sales as their primary marketing technique, employ "professional" salespeople. Most are articulate, knowledgeable about their products, skilled at win-win negotiation, and in general, produce a positive experience for the buyer. So, my question to my dealers, "Why not at your dealership?"

A veritable tsunami of excuses washed over me! Everything from "The competition would kill us", to "If I pay to train them, my competitor will steal them." After a few scotch and waters, however, the truth would emerge. "If I paid them what they're worth, I couldn't afford to stay in business."

But all was not lost. One of my favorite dealers scratched his head and said, "You know, there might just be a way to change all this by using a "team" approach." I had no idea what he was talking about but boy was I ever willing to listen!

Next Time -Part III - How The Light At The End Of The Tunnel Became a Saturn

Return From Vacation

Father Time is back and rested, so it's on with the GM story, etc. During the time off I had time to pursue my reading activities, and now owe a debt of gratitude to William Shakespeare for providing me with the following blogging guidelines:

"Conversation should be pleasant without scurrility, witty without affectation, free without indecency, learned without conceitedness, novel without falsehood."

Thanks Bill! Wish me luck.

Today's Thought

"Expectation strolls through the spacious fields of time towards opportunity."

Umberto Eco;The Island of the Day Before

Part I - Why GM Is In Trouble Today

How Much High-Level Insider Info Do I Have?
Zero, zip, nada. I did work for GM for 14 years, starting in April, 1960 and ending with my resignation in April, 1975. I started in engineering and migrated to field service and marketing.

So here goes:
After my sophomore year in college I ran out of funds, and accepted a job with GM's Buick Division in Michigan. They needed a tech in their metallurgy lab which was right up my alley. In addition to salary, they would also pay for my tuition; a perfect marriage! So, for a short time, I was an "insider" albeit a low-level insider.

A Really Abbreviated History of GM

GM was started in the early 1900's by William (Billy) Durant who has been described by some as a P.T. Barnum-type huckster who was more of a dreamer than a businessman. He was smart enough however, to buy up shares of the small independent automakers and suppliers who were just beginning to emerge. Some of the nameplates he acquired are familiar; Chevrolet, headed by race car driver Louis Chevrolet, Buick, started by inventor David Buick, and Oldsmobile, headed up my Ransom E. Olds. Other companies, like The Oakland Car Company became Pontiac in later years, as did Reliance and Rapid Truck Companies which ended up as GMC Truck Division.

An interesting sidelight; Billy Durant approached his bankers in 1909 for $9.5 million to buy Ford Motor Company. He was turned down!

The corporation continued to buy up smaller manufacturers of various products that could be used in GM vehicles. Despite their growth, GM had no concrete direction until 1923 when Alfred P Sloan was elected president by GM's Board. Sloan was a finance man who had the vision to provide GM with the organization and direction it needed to become the largest automobile company in the world. One of his many innovations was to create separate car-building divisions and pit them against each other for sales and profit. Traditional marketing would have focused on non-GM companies like Ford, Nash, Hudson, or Packard, but Sloan didn't think they provided the level of competition he needed, so intra-divisional competition was introduced to the American business scene. That philosophy was still in place when I went to work for Buick. Our most "hated" competitor was Oldsmobile, not Mercury or DeSoto who were in the same price-class as Buick back then. It was interesting to say the least!

My Introduction To Corporate Ego At Work

Here are some examples of situations I encountered that caused me concern about GM's long-term direction.

Example 1: It was known that one of our luxury models had a serious fuel system problem. A small lead plug on the front of the big four-bbl carburetor would, on occasion, pop out at high temperatures and dump gasoline all over the front of the engine. If any of the ignition wiring was old or faulty, the presence of a spark would set the engine on fire. The fix was to make sure the plug was properly sealed by inspecting it when the car was in for routine service. But did they recall the cars for inspection? No. Our basic instruction was to "handle it under warranty." Huhhh? What happens if the fire destroyed the entire car? Answer again, "Fix it under warranty."

Did I ever sign a warranty claim for a complete car? Yes. Not only a whole new car but a set of expensive matching luggage for the owners, plus a set of custom golf clubs for the man and a new mink stole for the wife. All of their vacation goodies went up in flames while they were stranded on the interstate in a remote stretch of desert watching their car burn. I really expected to hear about the claim from a supervisor, but never did! Keep in mind I was only one of about 150 field representatives. I wish I knew how many of those warranty claims GM paid. Clearly, we were working with a bottomless pit of money.

Example 2: When I was a marketing manager in Los Angeles, I was asked to report weekly to Detroit about the competition we were encountering. At the time, VW Bugs were really becoming popular, and BMW and Mercedes were kicking our tails selling smaller, more fuel efficient cars. Quality was also becoming important and when the gasoline crisis hit in the late 70's, fuel economy became a huge issue. If our anticipated sales goals were not met, it was "politely suggested" by our superiors in Detroit that we were not competent, because big cars were really selling well in Chicago and New York. Frequently they would suggest that we could be transferred to choice districts like Fargo, ND, or Casper, WY, where our "talent" would be more useful to the corporation. Bottom line - big cars continued to be shipped to the West Coast in increasing numbers even though sales were decreasing.

Next Installment: Part II -Why Heads Were In The Sand

Father Time's Bargain Bin

This is "filler" material while I work on the GM piece. It serves two purposes; (1) to keep both of my readers entertained, and (2) to comply with my wife's request to do something with my junk as a sign of good faith and legitimate intentions to finally help with this year's Spring cleaning.



In order to make ends meet, I've decided to sell my Bugatti. It has the standard W-16 engine that develops 1001 HP @ 8,000 RPM. (Sorry - the high output engine was not available at the time.) I originally paid $1 million for it, but since tax time is just around the corner, I'm reducing the asking price to $950,000 cash.

It only has 24K on the odometer since it has primarily been used for short commutes to the grocery store, gasoline station, and back. On caveat; since my 96 GMC pickup has first priority on garage space (to keep the bed clean for bark dust hauling), the Bugatti has been stored outside; however, a few bucks at your local detail shop will have it looking like new in short order.

Interested parties should contact me at faketrump@statementalhospital.com. Thanks!

Preview of Coming Attractions: The Sorry State of Affairs at General Motors

Peter M. DeLorenzo is the founding editor of a blog called The Auto Extremist. He has been very critical of General Motors attempts to right their ship and become competitive (I.E. profitable). Having spent 14+ plus years working for GM, I thought it would fun to compare Peter's highly informed and researched conclusions with my thoroughly biased observations followed by my ill-conceived plan for GM's survival. This will take time to write but hopefully, Part I - GM's History 1960-1976 will emerge early next week with Part II - A Possible Path to Recovery following a little later.

Keep in mind I'm neither a pundit nor a futurist. On the other hand, I did see the iceberg on the horizon in 1976, but was too far down in the hierarchy to make a difference. Nonetheless I was a reasonable man, so I jumped ship and ended up becoming a banker. (Why do I hear Dana Carvey in the back of my mind saying, "Now isn't that special"?) Press on!

More Encouraging Research

This article at the LiveScience web site really hits home.

The premise: To prevent memory loss, just believe you have a good memory.

This may sound like an oversimplification, but deep down I believe they are on target. My personal approach to aging is similar - you are as old as you believe you are. Personally, I'm about 32, plus or minus a decade.

In our culture, it seems normal for people to assume that when a "mature" person forgets something, it's a sure sign of a relentless march toward senility. However, according to this Brandeis University study, having a positive attitude is a big step toward preventing memory loss. Clearly, this is not the answer for everyone, but it is encouraging to say the least.

I was going to add another point but I forget what it was.

Books On The Night Stand

Now in process or waiting their turn:
The Abolition of Man by C.S. Lewis, Shadow Divers by Robert Kurson, Hamlet edited by Harold Jenkins (slow going but it eventually gets you there), HTML Sourcebook by Ian S. Graham (enhancing my techie side), and The Complete Walker IV by Colin Fletcher & Chip Rawlins. Colin is one of my favorite authors, not only because of his love of the outdoors, but his keen eye for the subtleties of nature and sharp self-deprecating wit. Unlike so many "how to" books, it can almost be read like a novel. Highly recommended even if your definition of "outdoors" is just going outside to buy groceries!

The Magic of Science

Check out this interesting article on recycling Styrofoam. Thanks to a particular soil-based bacteria, we can now convert Styrofoam oil into PHA (polyhydroxyalkanoates), which can be used make (among other things) eating utensils. Therefore, instead of burying Styrofoam in landfills for future archaeologists to find, we "bio-degrade" it into earth-friendly compounds.

Progress comes in tiny steps!

Now We're Talking

How about this DIY kit? Lots of cool parts and a finished product that should work even though it doesn't look good. Why doesn't Porsche or BMW do this? No doubt because they have concerns about liability, quality, reliability, and reputation. Lame excuses!

By now, it's obvious I have this thing for cars. When I was a kid, designing cars was my dream occupation. Then, thanks to college, helping engineer cars became both my dream job and my reality.

But designing automobiles? No way. Why? Because professional automotive designers are superb artists, and I can't draw a stick figure that looks like a person. But recognizing good design doesn't necessarily take artistic talent. Therefore, despite my feeble promises earlier to stop posting gorgeous automobile shots, I'm reversing myself and will continue to post car pix that make me weak in the knees. I think a regular feature for the blog is finally emerging.

An Automobile To Ponder

In an earlier post here I said words failed me when I attempted to describe a beautiful customized Corvette. As further proof of my stunted vocabulary, I now present a vehicle that leaves me absolutely speechless. For the sake of all concerned, I will refrain from showing any more concept cars here unless they are priced under $5,000 and looking for a new home. [Fingers crossed behind back]

Father Time At Work

There comes a time when indecision takes a physical toll. Here is Father Time at the beach, trying to decide whether it's time for coffee or wine. Retirement is much tougher than he expected. Maybe some Camembert cheese and crackers would give him the energy to solve this perplexing dilemma. Or maybe a nap?

Let's Go Racing!

German Loremo AG will introduce their ultra Efficient Car at the Motor Show 2006 (site) in Geneva next week.

The car start-up developed a light-weight passenger car with outstanding aerodynamics. The Loremo LS is powered by a 2 cylinder Turbo Diesel engine with 20 hp and 160km/h top speed. The amazing thing is that the Loremo only needs 1.5l per 100km. This is approx. 157MPG!
The Toyota Prius hybrid has only 55MPG (combined city and highway).
With one tank (20l) you could drive 1,300km.

Loremo AG plans to sell the Loremo LS for less than 11,000 Euros (~$13,000).

Happiness Vs Health

Yesterday, it was revealed in the Scientific American that happy people have fewer heart attacks and incidences of diabetes than those who are less happy and lead a more stressful lifestyle. The supposed culprit is Cortisol which is produced in abundance when the human body experiences high levels of stress.

It clearly makes sense to me that my body will function better when it isn't bombarded by stress. That's almost a no-brainer. But IMHO, it brings up a far more important question:

Does this promise anything positive for people who already have complex physical issues that are neither stress related nor stress induced?

I have a deep empathy for people who suffer from chronic and persistent illnesses that baffle medical science. The challenge they face in maintaining a positive outlook on life while dealing with debilitating pain truly earns my deepest respect and admiration.

The study I Would Like To See

Can someone who has chronic physical issues, develop and maintain a positive mental attitude, and should that factor be a part of the treatment plan?

I have a feeling that most physicians agree with the premise. And if it's true, wouldn't it follow that the "mental factor" should be a part of treatment plan, and equally important, shouldn't it be covered by health insurance? Critics would surely say that this would only further increase health care costs. My response, "Are the monies insurance companies are paying in medical claims being appropriated logically, efficiently and reasonably?" And, "Do health care costs reflect the principles of quality treatment or quality business school curriculums."

The rant has ended. Father Time returns to his workshop to take out his frustration on some really nice oak! FutureRant - forest ecology and logging on federal lands.