This is not made up. It's the straight scoop! (Truth is hallmark of this blog!)
NASCAR Is Aging Gracefully
Believe your eyes! Yes, NASCAR Sister has not changed one bit in the past 40 years. Notice how slight the difference is between her 5th grade picture and a current portrait. This is truly a testament to her strict regime of intensive physical training coupled with a healthy diet of Fritos dipped in warm butter and Budweiser. Oh, how I admire her awesome willpower!
NASCAR Sister Is A Leader In Environmental Education!
NASCAR sister's current job involves taking knowledge starved young students for walks in the forest. Look closely at the picture on the left and you will see one of the many wild animals indigenous to her region. She routinely confronts these vicious beasts, debilitates them with her perfume, then drags them back to her office for all to see. On the right we see a bright young student who has recently returned from one of Sister's pilgrimages, expressing her appreciation for an exciting day spent increasing her knowledge of the great outdoors.Remember Cool Dude?
Well, NASCAR Sister's better half (sexism intentional), also known as Cool Dude has retired after an illustrious career as a PortaPotty Drag Racing Engineer. As you see, has turned his considerable talents to motorcycle design. Clearly, his experience in PortaPotty design is reflected in this masterpiece. Way to go Cool Dude!NASCAR Sister Finally Buys A House
After searching the country far and wide, she finally found her dream home. It was a fixer-upper, but now, after almost a solid year of hard work, we see the finished estate. Once again, I am so envious of Sister's success in everything she does, I can only respond like this!So THERE NASCAR Sister!
Out of spite, I'm forced to include a picture of NASCAR Sister's first boy friend. When she sees this picture she is typically overcome with lust and lascivious thoughts. The last time I did this, she begged me to destroy the picture, but I didn't! BWAHAHAHA!
2 comments:
I am flattered to be featured in your blog brother. I did want to point out a few things that may have been overlooked by those reading your blog. First - Notice how I was able to lose the glasses shown on my 5th grade picture. Along with my afore mentioned strict diet, I added greens, grits and hog jowls. Because of this my eyesight is now 30/30. Also, we are so proud of our dream house. Notice how "Cool Dude" landscaped our front yard with shrubbery and when he sold his last Portapotty masterpiece, he purchased Direct TV which can be witnessed by viewing the dish on the roof. That "Cool Dude" - what a guy!
Please remember that I told you to destroy that picture of Billie Bob - my first boyfriend, as I am so afraid that "Cool Dude" will see it and fly into a jealous rage. Love always - NASCAR sis
You are truly a good sport. Now, please don't poison my onions!
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