NASCAR Sister Retires

Sad But True
At the end of March, Father Time's sister retired from job as a waitress at Capt'n Jack's House Of Liver, the finest eating establishment in Bald Knob. She will be missed by all of the regulars, but no one will miss her more than Louie, Alphonse, and Ezekiel, or as the locals call them - The Savory Brothers. (That's because their last name is Herb.) None of us like change and certainly the Savory's are prime examples of people who detest change.

The Savory Brothers
Since the brothers have never left Bald Knob, NASCAR Sister asked me, as a favor, to publish their pictures here on a big time blog for the first time. The first picture is Alphonse who is the youngest Savory brother. He has a great sense of humor and only wears clothes from K-Mart, which makes him a hit with older women. Alphonse is also the only Savory known to have the ability to dribble. His talent for water sports attracted several major university water polo coaches, but unfortunately, none was able to offer him a scholarship. Nevertheless, Alphonse went on to be a success as the General Manager of the Bald Knob Feathered Fiends, our local semi-amateur Lawn Dart team.

Next we see Louie. Louie Savory is a little different than the other two brothers but we are assured by Dr. Spite, our local chiropractor, Louie is indeed a Savory sort since Dr. Spite delivered all of the Savory boys.
Over the years there have been numerous questions about Louie. First, he grew a beard long before he entered puberty. Second, his ears weren't like the other two brothers. To settle the controversy, Dr. Spite conducted a DNA test on all three and concluded they indeed were located somewhere on the family tree, but from which branch was beyond the realm of modern science. Since Dr. Spite was a learned man, the townspeople accepted his findings and the brothers have spent their lives in Bald Knob with minimal controversy.


And finally we have Ezekiel M. Savory, the oldest brother. (The "M" stands for Methuselah, the Savory's father.) Dad Savory soon realized he had his work cut out when he saw Ezekiel in the nursery for the first time. Clearly, there was not enough money in the universe to perform all the plastic surgery necessary to make Ezekiel handsome enough to attract a bride. So old Methuselah sent Ezekiel to an Egyptian monastery where he trained to become a martial arts referee. Even though he failed, he returned to Bald Knob where he is now the town's only Commodore computer repairman.

At Any Rate
More about NASCAR Sister's fabulous life in a future post. There is just SO much good stuff she did that Father Time has no idea where to start.

But I will!