R.I.P Benjamin Bird

Today was a sad day at Father Time's Place. Here's the story as reprinted (with permission) from Father Time's World Gazette....formerly known as Father Times Times which did not receive good reviews from fellow journalists because it's title seemed a tad redundant. What do they know anyways? But I digress.

Local Bird Dies In Horrific Crash A handsome local aviator, Benjamen J Bird, age 2 or so, died today when he crashed into the picture window of a local residence and suffered a broken neck. A resident of the home heard the loud crash and rushed outside to his aid. Mr. Bird was placed on a clean towel and stroked with a warm hand but to no avail. Paramedics Chuck Daelenbach and Howard Rhoades arrived at the scene within minutes but pronounced him D.I.A. and nonviable. Since the paramedics disagreed, a neutral third party examined the beautiful specimen and said it had expired. Since no clear consensus could be determined, all parties went home in a huff. Benjamen's family was notified by placing a small red stop sign with a notification of a 24-hour fast in his honor placed on the window as well as the residence's bird feeder. Funeral arrangements are being provided by Father Time's Mortuary and Chili Stand.