Farewell To A Great Friend

His name was Zippy. He didn't get his name because he was as slim and svelte as a greyhound, but because his tail never stopped twitching back and forth. His tail was a prime example of living perpetual motion.

He could move fast when necessary, but only if fun was the end game. For instance, if something was being dragged across the floor, he would wake up out of a sound sleep and pounce on it. Several of my leather belts have scratches on the ends as a testament to his vigilance and my sloppy early morning dressing habits.

His greatest feat occurred several years ago when our garden was attacked by moles. One morning as I was leaving for work, there were three dead moles lined up in a row on the driveway in front of the garage door, their heads pointing in the same direction. I felt better knowing I was not the only anal person in our household.

Mrs. Time will miss him greatly. Each morning Zippy would help himself to a big drink of water using whatever droplets were left over in the shower. After a quick clean up, he would jump up on the bed where Mrs. Time was reading and want a warm coffee cup massage. We knew he was in trouble two weeks ago when we noticed his tail wasn't twitching and he couldn't jump up on the bed.

The vet said it was some sort of mysterious neurological problem that was attacking his spine. First his tail went dead, then his right hind leg, and finally his left hind leg. It was progressing quickly and it was clear his days were numbered. Reluctantly, Mrs. Time and I went to the vet's office today and said goodbye to our faithful friend. It was one of the hardest things we've ever done.

Zippy, wherever you go, you will welcomed with open arms and loved dearly. It will automatically become a better place and no doubt be free of moles. There may or may not be a heaven for humans but I have no doubt there's a cool place for cats like you! Line 'em up big guy!

Serupticiously Becoming A Building Contractor

What Happened?

For the past several months, I have been planning a simple kitchen remodel. The most complex aspect of the project would be arriving at a amicable agreement with Mrs Time over color, lighting, cupboard design, and wood finish. I was hoping for a contemporary look, while Mrs Time wanted a more traditional feel. So we turned to our kids for additional opinions. Both of them demonstrated strong feelings that can be best described as, "Whatever."

Thus through this arduous process of give-and-take, we arrived a the final design - the more traditional feel. Clearly, my skills as a negotiator served me well. I caved on almost every area to maintain domestic harmony. Am I good or what?

The Fun Begins

The removal of the fluorescent lights to make way for track lighting revealed the former owners of the house had installed the lights themselves without assistance of an electrician. The four large fixtures covered up non-code wiring, wallboard cracks and holes, and with two of four fixtures, no electrical boxes to secure the wires! There were just holes poked in the ceiling with protruding wires that were so unbelievably unsafe I can't believe we lived here 18 years without an electrical failure or fire.

The solution - call in an electrician to rewire the whole thing, then a dry wall contractor to replace and refinish all of the cracked areas, and we should be looking good! In case you're keeping score, we now have two sub-contractors gainfully employed.

The Ceiling Caves In

That is not a figurative expression - it's the real thing! Apparently a water supply pipe between floors sprung a leak, causing a ceiling to partially collapse in one of our spare bedrooms. So, add a plumber to the mix. We decided that since we had some of the water pipes available for inspection, why not open it up even more and look at the other pipes? A little preventative maintenance before closing up the ceiling made sense. Incidentally, sense and cents sound alike but when it comes to sub-contractors, it should be sense and dollars - many of them!

Since we were looking at all the cool pipes running between floors, Mrs Time suggested this would be a great time to replace the entire shower stall in the master bath! $$$$$ later, another contractor enters the mix. This time we have a small project remodeler who will take over the shower stall and pipe replacement project, freeing me to return to the kitchen extravaganza. We'll use his dry wall crew to also repair the kitchen ceiling after the electrical guys finish their work.

I think this is what modern management consultants refer to as "synergy." It's so cool to be "modern."

Happy Ending

In the meantime, I keep busy building the new cabinets in the workshop and taking phone calls from sub-contractors who are called away on emergencies, (read "more lucrative") jobs. I'm sure this is only the first chapter in the remodeling adventure, and depending on my propensity to locate sources of stress, will be followed by at least four more chapters. Whether I have the stomach to write about any new disasters remains to be seen. Don't stay tuned. It may take awhile. Whoops! Gotta run answer the phone!

"Hello Max, how are you? Oh really? His whole house is flooded? That's a shame. See you in two weeks."

Are Big Cars A Thing Of The Past?

Please don't let this be a trend,
Apparently, Mercedes Benz still feels there is a place for large, I.E. expensive, automobiles in our future. For example, here's something they whipped up recently in their design studios.It almost looks like one of those big Chevrolet Impalas from 50's doesn't it?

Now, here's the really interesting part - the interior.
Specifically, note the driver's side. No steering wheel! In other words, this car will be a gamer's delight. If you're skilled at "Grand Theft Auto IV", you're right at home. Ironically, the new X-Box version of NASCAR requires a steering wheel. Isn't it fun to watch industry thrash around trying to find a lucrative marketing niche?

Would Father Time ever buy one of these?
Let's see. How should I answer that? How about a resounding, "NO!"

Family

What's The Clan Up To Now?

Well, let's start with the new and progress quickly to the ancient. That makes sense to me but I'm open to other people's ideas as long as they agree with mine. I'm open minded if nothing else.

NASCAR Sister and Cool Dude

A few posts back I mentioned that my favorite relatives are now retired. But check this out! This picture was attached to an recent e-mail from NASCAR Sister. My first reaction was, "What the heck?" Am I a victim of the dreaded "paradigm shift" or did my sister win the lottery?

Before she sent this picture, I considered my life modest but comfortable. I was a prototypical middle class retired guy. But now, have I somehow been recklessly tossed into an entirely new socio-economic demographic? Am I actually somewhere between homeless and just plain old poverty?. Am I in some kind of time warp? More importantly, what kind of pensions do municipal workers in North Carolina get?

This just in: Buried in the fine print of the e-mail was a note that this was a picture of a nice area taken during one of my sister's frequent sight-seeing tours.

I can breathe again without pangs of envy. I am a lousy envious person. Sibling rivalry? What are you talking about?

Last Out Of The Nest

Yes! He's on his way to independence. He has a job.
Let me ask one (and only one,) question. Did you ever have a teacher this young? When I went to school, teachers used to have gray hair and wear sturdy shoes. Yes, back in my day we had to walk to school through the snow, uphill both ways, yada, yada, yada. On a "younger" note, as long as the pay check can be redeemed for cash, I will never be critical!

Congratulations Big Guy! You are the greatest.

For A Later Post

I will share Father Time's misadventures with home improvement. Watch for Killer Kitchen Kapers which, in retrospect, is a really lame title. How about Father Time Tests His Frustration Quotient With Inept Construction Techniques?

Much better!

Just Because

Two Posts In Two Days? What's Wrong?

Nothing is wrong. Just because I switched my brand of coffee doesn't mean I'm more energized in the morning. Just because my kitchen remodel is going badly and is days behind schedule doesn't mean I wake up early and race to the workshop (at least not on weekends.) Just because the ceiling crashed in one of my downstairs bedrooms due to a copper pipe failure doesn't mean I'm stressed out. AND........just because the snow pack in the Cascades is so heavy I've had to postpone my four-day backpacking trip to Mount Jefferson doesn't mean I'm frustrated. Angry? Yes. Frustrated? No.

Trucks And Their Offspring

The old red Sonoma is getting kind of arthritic. What to do? Look for a new vehicle that will take me up into the foothills without costing me an IRA distribution each trip. Have you noticed that 4-cylinder engines are now more costly than V-6's or V-8's? If I wait long enough I can probably buy a Hemi for pennies on the dollar and do an engine swap. Might not make sense gas mileage wise but it sure would be fun passing a Mercedes with my old beater truck.

Dream on old man, dream on!

New Look - New Direction

The Umpteenth Shift Of Focus

I've done this before so I'm doing it again.

Once again I've lost my blogging motivation. And again, I've resorted to an old reliable cure - a quick and dirty review of my settled-in life as a retired person. Not surprisingly, it revealed I'm busier than ever and still blessed with a solid immune system that rejects everything nasty and makes each day a delight.

Therefore, (and this has nothing to do with the above) I'm going to proceed with a half-diary, half-opinion format. This is good news for anyone who cares to know what I'm doing with my time, and bad news for those who stumble by here looking for exciting and enlightening topics.

In advance, let me apologize to my friends who occasionally visit here. If my constant bobbing and weaving is becoming bothersome, just be thankful there are thousands of other web sites that can offer you respite.

So that's it. Let's see what develops this time and how long it lasts! I'm excited again and that's what's important here at the place.

Why We Won WW II

The Competition

Here are some fine examples of state of the art aircraft design - circa 1940. Clearly, these foreign aircraft demonstrate backward thinking by their respective engineering teams. Notice how the German plane's design is based on dated concepts. An example is the failed attempt at streamlining the landing gear to project an image of speed even though the landing gear is entirely concealed when the plane is in flight. Sad indeed.

The Japanese Zero is basically a large engine with small wings and tail attached. Pity the poor pilot who tried to tame this beast! The pilot surely felt like he was riding on the end of a lion tamer's whip. Neck injuries among Japanese pilots must have reached epidemic proportions.

So Here Was Our Answer

When you consider the US employed its best and brightest, there's no question that our fighter plane designs were superior from the get go. Notice the beauty of the sweeping clean lines, the unobstructed view the pilot had of every inch of this nimble craft - truly classic proportions which translated into superior performance.

This is just another example of what a nation can do when pushed to the brink. Proof again that "commitee think" produces superior results!

Fly Specs

I had breakfast with The Fly. Since he picked up the tab, I hereby challenge Fly to an online debate: Election 2008 - Common Sense vs Creative Problem Solving. Pick your side and I will happily (bury) debate the other side for at least two posts!

Out

NASCAR Sister Retires

Sad But True
At the end of March, Father Time's sister retired from job as a waitress at Capt'n Jack's House Of Liver, the finest eating establishment in Bald Knob. She will be missed by all of the regulars, but no one will miss her more than Louie, Alphonse, and Ezekiel, or as the locals call them - The Savory Brothers. (That's because their last name is Herb.) None of us like change and certainly the Savory's are prime examples of people who detest change.

The Savory Brothers
Since the brothers have never left Bald Knob, NASCAR Sister asked me, as a favor, to publish their pictures here on a big time blog for the first time. The first picture is Alphonse who is the youngest Savory brother. He has a great sense of humor and only wears clothes from K-Mart, which makes him a hit with older women. Alphonse is also the only Savory known to have the ability to dribble. His talent for water sports attracted several major university water polo coaches, but unfortunately, none was able to offer him a scholarship. Nevertheless, Alphonse went on to be a success as the General Manager of the Bald Knob Feathered Fiends, our local semi-amateur Lawn Dart team.

Next we see Louie. Louie Savory is a little different than the other two brothers but we are assured by Dr. Spite, our local chiropractor, Louie is indeed a Savory sort since Dr. Spite delivered all of the Savory boys.
Over the years there have been numerous questions about Louie. First, he grew a beard long before he entered puberty. Second, his ears weren't like the other two brothers. To settle the controversy, Dr. Spite conducted a DNA test on all three and concluded they indeed were located somewhere on the family tree, but from which branch was beyond the realm of modern science. Since Dr. Spite was a learned man, the townspeople accepted his findings and the brothers have spent their lives in Bald Knob with minimal controversy.


And finally we have Ezekiel M. Savory, the oldest brother. (The "M" stands for Methuselah, the Savory's father.) Dad Savory soon realized he had his work cut out when he saw Ezekiel in the nursery for the first time. Clearly, there was not enough money in the universe to perform all the plastic surgery necessary to make Ezekiel handsome enough to attract a bride. So old Methuselah sent Ezekiel to an Egyptian monastery where he trained to become a martial arts referee. Even though he failed, he returned to Bald Knob where he is now the town's only Commodore computer repairman.

At Any Rate
More about NASCAR Sister's fabulous life in a future post. There is just SO much good stuff she did that Father Time has no idea where to start.

But I will!

So Much To Do

The Usual Excuses
(I should just make a macro out of this part. Would save a lot of time!)
Boy have I ever been sloughing off and neglecting my blog. I know this isn't something new but someday I must slow down! At any rate, what's been going on here in the beautiful Northwest?
Woodworking
Get ready to snore.I've been looking for a particular type of older wood plane on E-Bay for the past four months. I finally found one in Ohio that was for sale at a very reasonable price. It arrived March 28th and in now known as Dad's "Obsession" by my family. They can make fun of me if they want, but little do they know my passion for fluffy shavings. But that's a conversation for my therapist and me so let's move on!

The Deer "Fence"
Works like a charm. Not a single deer in my yard for over three weeks! That means only one thing - fresh fruits and vegetables from Father (and Mother)Time's garden this year. It does bother me, however, when I see them peeking through the wires and licking their chops. It bothers me for almost 15 seconds. And then I smile.

Backpacking
The weather is getting warmer and that means the snow will be melting soon. Then watch me stop blogging for months at a time. Oh ya! New lightweight low-temp sleeping bag and one-person tent, plus a weather radio to be tested soon. Have all my GPS points plotted on a map and downloaded to my receiver. If I get lost, it will because I forgot something esoteric like my compass or eyeglasses.

Enough already
I agree. It's time to hustle off and do something useful in the workshop. Today might be a good day to move forward on my Adirondack chair rebuild project. This time, new stainless steel screws, waterproof glue, and a thorough sanding to remove the ancient looking silver color Mother Nature inflicted upon them. Then the obligatory picture will be included on the blog so those of you who read this drivel can pat me on the back. It will be a poignant moment! Gag

First Inning - Father Time 1 - Deer 0

The Game Is On!
As I described in my last post, the solution to yard and garden preservation was to increase the height of my chain-link fence and prevent the local deer herd from getting in. The actual "increase" was accomplished by bolting pieces of 3/4" electrical conduit to my fence posts, and then stringing wire through holes drilled in the conduit. Our local university extension service suggested putting white flags at regular intervals to prevent the deer from attempting to jump the fence at night when the wires are not visible. For you macho types out there, (are you listening Fly?) a possible modification would be to substitute razor wire and then get ready to enjoy some venison steaks this summer. But since my household includes a dog and two cats adopted from our local Humane Society, you can bet that won't happen here!

Remember. It's just the first inning!
I'll keep you posted if the score changes!

Mission accomplished - I think.

Mother Nature 2 - Father Time 0

Mother Nature kicks sand in my face.
For the past five years, White-tailed deer have easily jumped the 5' chain-link fence surrounding my garden and orchard. Once inside, they feast on my apples, strawberries, rose bushes, and beans. In short, they leave me no choice but to purchase my produce at the local supermarket!

Father Time's devious plan
Following a neighbor's lead, I'm re-engineering my fence and raising the height to 10'. Yesterday I purchased the necessary materials (poles, wires, and fasteners) to increase the overall height and, simultaneously, create a hazard to low flying aircraft.

"Yes", I silently bragged to myself, "Only Olympic qualified deer will get in here now!"

The deer's devious plan
As I was attaching the first pole to the fence with industrial-strength u-bolts, I happened to look over at my neighbor's yard. Unbelievably, FIVE deer were resting in his yard, contentedly munching grass and watching me work!

OK, I've worked in front of an audience before but this was a bit much. Then as if to mock me, the largest deer looked right at me and, I swear, smiled at me!

I could hear him saying, "Bring it on old man. When you're done, we'll still jump over!" Now, to say I was shocked would be a masterpiece of understatement. On the other hand, I'm a calm deliberate person, so I did what any semi-intelligent person would do - I stuck my tongue out at him!

Father Time counter punches
After a little research on the Internet, I've discovered that once I've raised the height of the fence, I should attach 2' white streamers on the top wire every five feet along the entire length of the fence. For reasons known only to deer, this will absolutely keep them at bay. In the meantime, my home will look like a used car lot having a clearance sale.

Other than a few meaningless class-action law suits from neighbors, the next move is up the the deer.

This isn't over yet!
Once the fence is complete, I will share photos of the deer and the fence here on the blog. They will also be used in court as defense exhibits.

Father Time will prevail!

A Time To Blog

Where does the time go?
This blog must feel like an orphan. Unless I make a note on my "To Do" list, it gets lost in the shuffle. As it turns out, my retirement should be measured in mph's rather than days or months.

At any rate................what's new?

BackpackingMy trip to the Jefferson Wilderness is definitely on for late May or early June. As some of you may know, I obtained the GPS coordinates for several places used by our local university's atmospheric research team to record glacial activities on Mt Jefferson. By measuring the distance from these waypoints to the glacier's current position (using the GPS of course), along with the date and time of the measurement, a data base is being developed of the glacier's movements over extended periods of time. This will supplement their research into the development of a global warming model. Because of the limits of telemetry, and the remote locations, volunteers are needed to help fill in the gaps in their data base. Those who know me well, realize my middle name is "volunteer." The Army taught me nothing!

Fly Fishing
Guess what I'm doing when I'm not fooling around with glaciers? You're right - fishing in the lakes fed by the glacial runoff! A brand-new five-piece pack rod that weighs in at less than a pound - including foam carrying case, reel, line, and flies. Now I don't have to pay for my morning and evening brookies by toting an extra few pounds up the trail. Life is good.

Woodworking
Right now I'm reorganizing the shop to get rid of things I will never work on, building a proper storage rack for my inventory of wood, and setting up my machines differently to facilitate work flow. I hear you yawning. Moving on!

Hospice
Right now I have two of the greatest patients I have ever worked with - one a biker and the other a retired insurance person. So far, my Hospice experience has been unbelievably educational. I have learned more about other people's life styles and experiences than one could possibly imagine. Absolutely outstanding and right up there with some of the most stimulating interactions with humans I have ever experienced.

And last but not least - Volunteer "Boardism"
Maddening at times but rewarding in hindsight. I'm helping out a local DDR foster care organization with its finances and investments. Reminds me of why I got into that line of work in the first place. My internal hard drive is not maxed out either - that was a concern. In the words of Maxwell Smart - "and loving it!"

Miscellaneous Stuff
Almost forgot! Just remembered that someone has to do dishes, a little laundry, and fix dinner. Humbling but necessary.

Now you know why the blog has been orphaned. Sad but true and I wouldn't have it any other way!

Definition Of Awesome

OK. I've reflected, chosen my resolutions, and am ready to move on. Let me demonstrate.

A Video Is Worth One Hundred Words!

I could bore you with a flood of adjectives but this video does a much better job and ie entertaining to boot.



Now, is that "awesome" or what?

The defense rests!

Time To Reflect

The Problem
Emme (see comments on last post) asks a good question. "What are your New Year's resolutions?" My response? That's a fair question with a less than satisfactory answer.

I've been postponing making any resolutions while I mull over some exciting, labor intensive, overly ambitious, and totally ludicrous goals. Why make them when I know up front they'll never be accomplished?

Possible Goals
(Remember, these are only live in my mind right now. Don't expect to see pictures taken from the far corners of the earth or anything exotic. My goals are geographically bounded by the borders of the USA.)

1. Backpack into the Mt Jefferson Wilderness and actually see, and possibly touch, a glacier. Since they may not be with us in a few years, I need to do this fairly soon.

2. Build an authentic Shaker-style dining table and six chairs to replace the ugly factory bought stuff we currently own. Makes me crazy just walking by them every day!

3. Retool the workshop. Totally overhaul it with a well-planned layout that makes optimum use of the available space.

4. Help the non-profit board I'm involved with streamline it's financial operations and investment portfolio. (Some of you may think that sounds boring. If you do, you really don't know me that well. I think it's fun! Sick, sick man you say? Yup!)

5. Take a long overdue vacation to Mendocino, California Explore the Northern California coastline and drink my way through the miles of wineries in Anderson Valley.

So?
Given more time, my resolutions should "go public" in a couple of weeks. Until then, the blog may be a little slow, but that describes me perfectly!

Now Look What I've Started

I Should Know Better
In my last post, I casually mentioned that the P-51 Mustang and the Supermarine Spitfire might be contenders for the title of "Best Fighter Plane of WWII." What a monster I created! So far, I have received telephone calls from five different "friends" who vociferously questioned the "quality" of my research. So, let's set the record straight!

I Know Nothing! (Courtesy of Sgt. Hans Shultz)
First, I didn't do any research on WWII Fighter Planes. My only source of information on them is incidental at best. Regarding the P-38, however, I can honestly say I have performed a ton of research and consider myself "informed" but hardly an "expert." (Those who know me are well aware of my aversion to anyone who is billed as an "expert" unless he or she holds advanced degrees and is at least 75 years old.)

So What Now?
I'm going back to chili recipes and wait patiently for seven more years when I will become an "expert" at something. I not sure what the discipline will be but I'm leaning toward psychotropic medicines.

Annual Tradition

In The Beginning
I started this blog in November, 2005 with two goals in mind:
1.) to create an online journal of my leisure activities and,
2.) to indulge my passion for things mechanical.

This post falls in the latter category. My interest the Lockheed P-38 Lightning was piqued at a very young age when my Dad built a model and hung it from my bedroom ceiling. I spent more nights than I can count staring at it until I finally fell asleep. In my mind, that was how airplanes were supposed to look. It wasn't until many years later I discovered what a truly unique design it was. Additionally, the man who headed the design team at Lockheed, Clarence Kelly, was from my home town! How cool is that?

True Confessions

I'll confess that the P-38 had its shortcomings, and will even admit it was not the greatest fighter plane ever made during WWII. Probably the P-51 Mustang and British Spitfire vie for that honor. But as something that could stir the soul of a young mechanically inclined boy, it was nonpareil. Maybe Santa will bring me one this year.

Wow! First December Post

Busy, busy, busy

This has been an interesting month. Lots of family related activities and very little time for blogging. Believe it or not, the rest of the month, including the impending Holidays, looks relatively tame compared to the past 30 days.

Premature Celebrating
The combination of my youngest son's graduation, visits by guests from out-of-town, plus an early Holiday open house, all contributed to massive To Do list revisions. With those activities behind me, everything else looks positively passive by comparison.

So, what's my plan for survival?
Daily naps friends. The seniors' Fountain of Youth!

I, (hand on copy of Woodworking Magazine) hearby swear to post highly important facts and fiction that will probably be shining examples of my fuzzy December focus.

And you can take that to the credit union!

Father Time Saith

In The Beginning

There were self-important bloggers who felt their posts contained life-changing content and would eventually lead their readers to "The Ultimate Truth."

And Then There Was Father Time's Place

Disclosure: I'm in a weird post-Thanksgiving mode right now and procrastinating on my responsibilities as lead Christmas-light-putter-upper. Therefore I am merely trying to look like I'm catching up on my e-mail. So far it's working!

Regarding my earlier thoughts under "In The Beginning", I hope like heck NOT to follow the "self-important" model. This post alone should be proof of my intentions.

Roger out.

Thanksgiving

Seems like I used this same picture last year........oh well.

Here's wishing all of Father Time's extended family a wonderful family-oriented Thanksgiving. (If you're reading this, you're extended family but not in the will!)

If you are spending the holiday alone, I know from experience what you must be feeling. Don't worry though. The Friday shopping bargains will make you feel better. On the other hand, I don't know squat about shopping the day after Thanksgiving. I shop on December 24th. The stress is exquisite!