Father Time Upgrades His Wheels

Father Time's old walker is just not getting the job done in the high country, so the time has come to upgrade.
Loaded down with my 40# backpack, expedition tent, and fly fishing gear, the old walker is just not capable of being towed up and down the hills by my pet llama Ralph anymore. With me riding in the seat, the wheels are becoming egg-shaped from carrying all the weight. Plus Ralph is getting testy going uphill now, so the need for a new set of wheels is clear.
I found this beauty at Honest Heraldo's in East Town yesterday. With only 10,200' on the odometer and a one-cylinder diesel engine that gets 300' to the gallon, I should be "sitting pretty" when gasoline prices go higher.

Of concern however:

1.) Wet weather. Maybe a really cool rain suit or even a Sherlock Holmes style hat?

2.) People driving Surburbans and Yukons. Their envy will lead to road rage. Road rage will lead to Medicare insurance claims for Father Time.

A real conundrum. Maybe the old walker isn't so bad.

NASCAR Sister's Birthday Pictures

After my post about NASCAR Sister's birthday, she was kind enough to send me pictures of one of her gifts, and a precious family photo of the party aftermath. (They have "aftermath" where she lives cause of the weird weather!)

The vehicle is a slightly modified 1956 Packard Clipper. Her husband, Cool Dude modified the wheels to accept Deep South Wide Profile Highway Grippers for driving in bad weather. She will never be late for work again!

And finally, we see Cool Dude taking a short nap after dinner. Cool Dude is a religious man, and religiously drinks a 6-pack of Bud every night after work. We see him here in deep meditation just before wrestling starts on television.

Do these people know how to live or what? I'm SO jealous!

One Person's View Of Troubled Times

I've been getting behind in my world affairs reading thanks to home repairs here at Casa La Roach, plus a little vacation time. So, I have handled the Israel-Hezbollah affair like an ostrich - ignore it and it will go away. Ya Right!

So, when I perused DT Strain's Philosophy Blog last week, I was surprised, and in many respects delighted, to see his analysis of the "tangled ball of string" the Mid-East had become.

With his permission, I'm posting it here at Father Time's Place, and hope you find his analysis as interesting as I did.

Thursday, July 20, 2006

The Puzzle of Our Time

"I don’t often touch on politics on this blog; at least not current hot-button political issues. The reasons are several: (1) I want this site to be about philosophy and getting overly specific about politics has a very dominating and distracting effect, (2) if dealing with politics, I prefer to stay in the abstract philosophical realm, because that’s where all the root answers tend to be anyway, and (3) my hope is to focus more on things that unite rather than divide.

However, this latest struggle between Israel and Hezbollah has got me vexed. In fact, much of the developments in the war on terror over the past few years have vexed me. Of course, I have my own opinions about various things and they can be quite strong, but I want to go beyond that – I want to go deeper. It’s too easy to merely vent my perspective and be yet one more voice yelling about what ‘should be’.

This whole business of terrorism, the third world, religious extremism, international business interests, modern warfare, and their intersection are really the great puzzle of our time. But instead of anyone trying to figure anything out, it seems that all we have are various religious fundamentalists (on all sides), various nationalists (on all sides), various haters of particular political officials, and other people with agendas simply trying to further them. If there are any people with serious deep questions and thoughts about this puzzle of our time out there, they are being ignored as eggheads or muffled by all the sensationalism to be found elsewhere. Can we please have some sincere efforts to reach pragmatic and realistic solutions without being so biased, hateful, blame-seeking, or focused on complaining about the present or past?

Everybody knows what should be done, and what the other guys should be doing. They know what should have happened in past elections, negotiations, and military actions. They know what we should be doing internationally, and they know what we should do in the future. But does anyone have any ideas about what can be done? In other words, what can be done given our current situation and the current dispositions of all parties involved?

There are obviously tough challenges facing the world, and they’re not going to be solved by simply declaring cease-fires and trying to get people not to attack one another. The underlying causes of these things are too complex and the dangers too intense. If one side is unwilling to cease, then those threats will demand that some fighting will have to happen. But the problems also aren’t going to be solved by obliterating everything without foreseeable end.

What’s even more complex is that it takes more than even a complete analysis of all the subtle underlying causes for things. Because, even if we had that, it would be another matter entirely getting all of the various power-holders, organizations, and institutions to actually pay attention, care, and change.

It's more than a little disturbing that all of our religious faiths and even our philosophic insights, including my own, seem incapable of easily piercing this dilemma, even if they may be very effective on an individual scale. This puzzle of our time is going to require something radical; something drastic. A new movement or perhaps a joint multi-cultural revolution of sorts happening in several opposing camps at once. Unfortunately, such things don’t usually arise unless extreme pain and suffering has pushed the pendulum far enough.

But one thing is sure, the puzzle is more complicated than a giant ball of tangled twine, and we have several people pulling on the same threads in different directions, trying to unravel it at the same time. If we can’t get some sort of broad and deep solutions going, then I suppose pain and suffering for a lot more people, on a lot greater scale, are what’s in store. If that’s the case, then I’ll simply have to remember my Stoic readings and remind myself that I can’t control the choices or actions of others – only myself."

Father Time Delivers The Mail

Since 1895, the US Postal Service has delivered mail by boat to the city of Agness, Oregon on the Rogue River. The river empties into the Pacific Ocean at Gold Beach, Oregon, 34 miles from Agness. For over 100 years, boats have made the daily trip upstream from Gold Beach to Agness to provide the residents with mail service.

Over time, the boats have become more modern, so that now, three engined jet-drive aluminum hulled beauties are used for the trip. An added sidelight is that passengers are also welcomed - so much so that passenger traffic is the main source of revenue for the mail boats. Several boats now make the trip each day, but one of them always drops off mail at Agness. It happened the boat I was on last Saturday, was the actual delivery boat so I can make the exaggerated claim that "I delivered the mail." Actually, I was just one of the passengers but who's going to spill the beans and accuse me of ever exaggerating something?

Incidentally, there are fish in the Rogue River. Lot's of them. Delicious ones. And they aren't tiny either. During the trip we saw bald eagles, a mother black bear with two cubs eating wild blackberries, deer, and lots of fisherman.
I wish the person in the picture was me, but once again my highly ethical nature emerges and I confess that it is not Father Time holding that big salmon. Besides, he's way to old to be me, but not so old that if he offered to share his salmon, I would have helped him out!

Sorry to sound like a travelogue, but that's just the way it is here in Father Nature's world.

Father Time Honors NASCAR Sister

This is way overdue!

Let's open the family album with this gem:

Here's a shot of NASCAR Sister in high school. She always was on the leading edge of trendy hair styles. This was taken on the day she was inducted into the National Honor Society.

NASCAR Sister always had an eye for sharp cars. She just never owned one. Here's a picture of her leaving home to attend college. Very little was left in her room when she was done packing!


While in college, she met Cool Dude. He stole her heart immediately, and they were inseparable right up until the time he was arrested for indecent exposure. When he was released, they immediately moved to Humptulips, Washington where he opened a Krispy Kreme franchise.


It wasn't long before they had a love child - Turkin. He turned out to be a child prodigy and was designing tricycles at the age of 7. He is now working for Yugo as an automotive designer!


NASCAR Sister and Cool Dude now live in Bald Knob, Arkansas, in this lovely estate. She's retired and paints ashtrays and Cool Dude is Superintendent of Schools.

Happy Birthday NASCAR Sister!

Future Birthdays

Tomorrow, Father Time's only sibling, NASCAR Sister celebrates her birthday. In honor of this auspicious event, we ask this highly sensitive question - "Should we reveal her age?"

In any case, we will have a special post just for her, including car pictures, rednecks doing their thing, and high cholesterol recipes.

Rah rah NASCAR Sister, GO GO GO! Sis boom bah, etc.

2007 Renault Laguna

A while back we posted pictures of a Peugeot concept car here.
It resembled nothing we had ever seen before. I.E. - how many cars do you enter through the center of the rear wheel? Additionally, those of us who lived through the 50's remember only one thing about imported French automobiles like Renault, Citroen, and Peugeot - they were not visually attractive. (PC version of "butt ugly.")

So, when I saw these pictures of the 2007 Renault on Paul Tan's automotive site I was astonished to say the least. However, my astonishment was short-lived when I remembered that Renault and Nissan are now managed by the same person, Carlos Ghosn, who has been rumored to be talking about a similar "arrangement" with General Motors. Sure enough, the new Renault will be built on the Nissan Altima chassis. End of story.

Are we witnessing a global period when automobile manufacturers are going through a consolidation like the U.S. experienced in the 50's and 60's? Absolutely!

Coat of Arms Candidate

It's no secret that I've been looking for my historic family coat of arms. Having failed to find an appropriate example, I now offer to my loyal readers an opportunity to voice their opinions. This won't take long since one reader is home with the flu and the other proof reads my stuff.

This is Coat of Arms Candidate #1. In typical Father Time fashion, there is no reward whatsoever for submitting your opinion - with the possible exception of personal "psychic compensation" which I intend to declare on my 2006 tax returns as a "charitable donation."

Now, back to The Gong Show reruns!

Too Much Fertilizer?

This horrific sight greeted my as I returned home after a couple of weeks in the forest. It seems that Melbo, my new gardener, had quit after only one day on the job. Following family tradition, I paid him nothing; however, I did permit him to use a picture of my estate on his business brochure. Apparently, it worked!

Oh bother, the scythe and sickle are dull so I guess I'll have to use the push mower. And now you the rest of the story - Father Time is green! What do you mean "cheap."

How To Sing The Blues

Here it is! More excellent plagiarism by Father Time.
If this was first-rate plagiarism, no credits would be sited. However, first-rate is not my standard of excellence.

Movin' On
This was written by Lame Mango Washington (attributed to Memphis Earlene Gray with help from Uncle Plunky, revisions by Little Blind Patti D. and Dr. Stevie Franklin)

1. Most Blues begin, "Woke up this morning."

2. "I got a good woman" is a bad way to begin the Blues, 'less you stick something nasty in the next line, like " I got a good woman, with the meanest face in town."

3. The Blues is simple. After you get the first line right, repeat it. Then find something that rhymes ... sort of: "Got a good woman - with the meanest face in town. Got teeth like Margaret Thatcher - and she weigh 500 pound."

4. The Blues are not about choice. You stuck in a ditch, you stuck in a ditch; ain't no way out.

5. Blues cars: Chevys and Cadillacs and broken-down trucks. Blues don't travel in Volvos, BMWs, or Sport Utility Vehicles. Most Blues transportation is a Greyhound bus or a southbound train. Jet aircraft an' state-sponsored motor pools ain't even in the running. Walkin' plays a major part in the blues lifestyle. So does fixin' to die.

6. Teenagers can't sing the Blues. They ain't fixin' to die yet. Adults sing the Blues. In Blues, " adulthood" means being old enough to get the electric chair if you shoot a man in Memphis.

7. Blues can take place in New York City but not in Hawaii or any place in Canada. Hard times in St. Paul or Tucson is just depression. Chicago, St. Louis, and Kansas City still the best places to have the Blues. You cannot have the blues in any place that don't get rain.

8. A man with male pattern baldness ain't the blues. A woman with male pattern baldness is. Breaking your leg cuz you skiing is not the blues. Breaking your leg cuz an alligator be chomping on it is.

9. You can't have no Blues in an office or a shopping mall. The lighting is wrong. Go outside to the parking lot or sit by the dumpster.

10. Good places for the Blues:

a. highway
b. jailhouse
c. empty bed
d. bottom of a whiskey glass

Bad places:

a. Ashrams
b. gallery openings
c. Ivy League institutions
d. golf courses

11. No one will believe it's the Blues if you wear a suit, 'less you happen to be an old ethnic person, and you slept in it.

12. Do you have the right to sing the Blues? Yes, if:

a. you're older than dirt
b. you're blind
c. you shot a man in Memphis
d. you can't be satisfied

No, if:

a. you have all your teeth
b. you were once blind but now can see
c. the man in Memphis lived.
d. you have a retirement plan or trust fund.

13. Blues is not a matter of color. It's a matter of bad luck. Tiger Woods cannot sing the blues. Gary Coleman could. Ugly white people also got a leg up on the blues.

14. If you ask for water and Baby give you gasoline, it's the Blues.

Other acceptable Blues beverages are:

a. wine
b. whiskey or bourbon
c. muddy water
d. black coffee

The following are NOT Blues beverages:

a. mixed drinks
b. kosher wine
c. Snapple
d. sparkling water

15. If it occurs in a cheap motel or a shotgun shack, it's a Blues death. Stabbed in the back by a jealous lover is another Blues way to die. So is the electric chair, substance abuse, and dying lonely on a broken down cot. You can't have a Blues death if you die during a tennis match or getting liposuction.

16. Some Blues names for women:
a. Sadie
b. Big Mama
c. Bessie
d. Fat River Dumpling

17. Some Blues names for men:
a. Joe
b. Willie
c. Little Willie
d. Big Willie

18. Persons with names like Sierra, Sequoia, Auburn, and Rainbow can't sing the Blues no matter how many men they shoot in Memphis.

19. Make your own Blues name (starter kit):
a. name of physical infirmity (Blind, Cripple, Lame, etc.)
b. first name (see above) plus name of fruit (Lemon, Lime, Kiwi,etc.)
c. last name of President (Jefferson, Johnson, Fillmore, etc.)

For example, Blind Lime Jefferson, or Cripple Kiwi Fillmore, etc.

(Well, maybe not "Kiwi.")

20. I don't care how tragic your life: you own a computer, you cannot sing the blues. You best destroy it. Fire, a spilled bottle of Mad Dog 20-20, or get out a shotgun. I don't care.

Family Coat of Arms

I thought it would be great to research my family name and see if we had a "coat of arms" in the past. Much to my dismay, we did not.

Therefore, being the oldest living member of my family, I hereby bestow upon myself the authority to proclaim this graphic symbol as the official Father Time Coat of Arms - Beta Test 1, effective August 1, 2006. Further, using said authority once again, Beta Test 2 could emerge at a later date should something more representative of our contributions to history be found.

Time to celebrate with a pint of Guinness.