I, Father Time being of sound mind and body, do not wish to be kept alive indefinitely by artificial means. Under no circumstances should my fate be put in the hands of pinhead partisan politicians who couldn't pass a ninth-grade civics test if their lives depended on it or lawyers/doctors/hospitals interested in simply running up their bills.
If a reasonable amount of time passes and I fail to ask for at least one of the following:
- ______a Glass of Spring Hill Cellars 2003 Pinot Noir
______a Margarita
______a Double single-malt scotch on the rocks
______a Pint of Guinness
______a Glass of any Chardonnay
______a New York Steak
______Lobster or crab legs
______The remote control
______a Glass of milk and two Oreos
______The sports page
______Chocolate
______Sex,
it should be presumed that I won't ever get any better. When such a determination is reached, I hereby instruct my appointed person and attending physicians to pull the plug, reel in the tubes and call it a day.
At this point, it's time to call the New Orleans Preservation Hall Jazz Band to come do their thing at my wake, and ask all of my friends to raise their wine/beer glasses to toast the good times we have had.
Signature: Father Time
Date: June 28, 2006
NOTE: I also hear in Ireland they have a Nursing Home with a Pub. The patients are happier and have a lot more visitors. Some of them don't even need embalming when their time comes. (Fly: Can you confirm this?)
4 comments:
I should Borrow your WIll that sounds pretty good.
::chuckle:: Very entertaining. Yeah, I think a nursing home with a nearby pub is a good idea!
Pinhead partisan politicians. Good alliteration there. :)
thedeviluno: Feel free to copy and place in your safe deposit box.
Ms. Apple: Good to see you back. Hope you're feeling better.
I may have to build my own nursing home but rest assured, it will have a happy hour.
BTW, thanks for the compliment. It's appreciated.
Father Time, I can not independently confirm the story about the nursing home with a pub, nor the embalming thing; hence, I shall go research it for you.
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