Father Time Gets Busted

Here's To Honesty In Journalism
In an earlier post entitled Father Time Needs A Break I intimated (in a light-hearted way - hint hint), that a rat's nest of tangled lights constituted my holiday lighting endeavors.

Unbelievably, one of my neighbors surfaced as a closet reader of my blog and chided me for my less-than-honest approach! So, for those who live some distance from me, and in the interest of full disclosure and compliance with obscure Federal laws known only to unemployed attorneys, I am forced to reveal to the world that my Scrooge disguise is bogus, and deep inside Father Time resides a small child who lives for the Holidays!

Extra Added Bonus!
For those in Michigan, Florida, Nevada, New Mexico, and Virginia, please note the abundance of snow. For the Michigan crowd, the little dribble of snow should cause you to erupt in gales of laughter. (I can hear you now; "And you call THAT snow?") Ok, so it isn't 10 feet deep. It isn't even 10 inches deep. Since I'm posting this as an act of contrition, I truthfully confess that 3" shuts down everything around here and is considered a major catastrophe. Therefore, please send me MRE's this year.

But that's a story for another time (when my neighbor is on vacation.)

Wisdom For The Holidays

Vegetarians, and their Hezbollah-like splinter faction, the vegans ... are the enemy of everything good and decent in the human spirit. - Anthony Bourdain

This is sure to win me some friends.

Happy Holidays!

Father Time Needs A Break

Finally got the Christmas lights up! What a chore. I'm cold, exhausted, thirsty, and hungry. Time to go inside and take care of all those issues while I wait for neighbors to come by and compliment my creativity and hard work.

It's not easy being me.

Football As War

A Duck or A Dog?

Here's a great shot of an avid football fan. So what's with the school sweater?
Somehow, the marriage of Thanksgiving and football is something I remember from my high school days in Flint, Michigan when Central played Northern on Thanksgiving Day. This turned out to be a classic "good news-bad news" situation. I would return home after the game frozen solid. The good news - I could thaw out with turkey, dressing, cranberry jelly and tons of other good stuff. Not a bad deal when you are a starving teen but now, in retrospect, it was a weird combination of two completely different events. Since Flint now has several high schools, I'm sure this tradition is long gone but back then, weird or not, it was a big deal.

The Tradition (off by two days) Continues

Following a custom that dates back to 1894, University of Oregon played Oregon State University in football last night. This annual event is referred to locally as the Civil War. I'm sure it makes sense to some people, but the fact that the two schools are 40 miles apart, causes me to question the choice of nickname. There is no North and South, no Rebel or Union soldiers; just Ducks and Beavers. Oh well!

The final score of this year's game was 65-38 in favor of University of Oregon. The loss knocked Oregon State out of a sure Rose Bowl date, and added to the enmity between the die-hard believers. My take on the whole thing? Go Wolverines! Wait until next year!

This post dedicated to all those who live in other states but graduated from Oregon State University!

Happy Thanksgiving To My Family & Friends

Yes, this is last year's picture of a perfectly done turkey. Time is scarce this year for Google searches and picture taking so we'll just have to be content with last year's bird!

To everyone, have a great Thanksgiving! If you're at Father Time's house or spending the day elsewhere around the globe, the sentiment here is just the same.

May your day be joyful, your food hot, and your emotional state "gently" warm.

One Dad Story Leads To Another

Painting A Sign On An Airplane

In my last post I noted that my Father, who worked for GM, supplemented our family income by painting signs on weekends. Usually, he painted windows for businesses having sales, or gold leaf signs on doors of doctors and dentists, or a delivery truck touting the virtues of some business. Since I was young and restless, and to give my Mom a break, Dad would let me accompany him on his sign-painting trips and be his "gofer". That meant I got to sit around a lot but do the dirty work when needed.

Once, much to my delight, he was asked to go to the local airport and paint the name of a doctor friend of our family on the side of his Beechcraft Bonanza. The plane was unique back then for its unusual tail configuration - a "V" design that was a first in the recreational aircraft field.

The day in question was windy; not a good thing for an lightweight aircraft sitting outdoors. To help anchor it, the doctor heaped some sandbags on the co-pilot's side and asked me if I would mind sitting in the pilot's seat for some extra weight. To me, that was a dream come true! I had to sit in the pilot's seat by myself for about an hour.

So, what does a seven year old boy do in a real airplane while sitting in the pilot's seat?

Let's see.

For starters, I single handedly destroyed all of the enemies of the United States with a series of strategically planned bombing runs. Having tasted blood, I then flew spy missions over New York City looking for Mafia types. Spotting them easily from the air, I would swoop in and shoot them down with with a cleverly concealed .22 caliber pistol I always carried in my shirt pocket for just such an occasion. In particular, I was looking for any bad guys who might be holding June Allison as a hostage, taking them down without mercy and then delivering June to the local deputy sheriff who was in charge of Hollywood Star Hostage Detail.

And finally, as my coup de grâce, I spotted the Frankenstein while flying over Chicago. We engaged in a vicious gun fight - he from his castle, and me from the Beechcraft Bonanza. Luckily, I defeated him and flew back to the airport to receive the Congressional Medal of Honor which surprisingly was presented to me by June Allison.

As I stepped out, exhausted from all that imagineering, my Dad smiled and asked if I had enjoyed myself.

"Enjoy myself? Are you kidding? By the way, I'm dieing of hunger. Can we go get a Coney Island Hot Dog."

Mission accomplished!

My Loud Mouth Conscience

The Conflict Begins

In 2005, when I started this blog, my goal was to post anything and everything I found interesting. Sounds like "it's all about me" doesn't it? (Well, it is, so don't interrupt.)

One of my earliest posts dealt with the Lockheed P-38 Lightening, a WWII fighter-interceptor. Somehow in the ensuing years, posting new pictures of this magnificent aircraft has became an annual event.

Don't Weapons of War Conflict With Your Personal Values?

(You know, you're really getting on my nerves.) To understand my fascination with this airplane, I need to step back to my childhood. When I was about 8 years old plus or minus a couple of years, my Father built a model of this plane from scrap wood he had in his sign shop. He was a journeyman sign painter but choose instead to work for GM and supplement our family income painting signs on weekends. Dad gave me the finished model for Christmas, and promptly hung it from the ceiling over my bed (knowing I would probably destroy it trying to make it fly.) For the next several years, I went to sleep watching it spinning in lazy circles over my bed. Those memories are still etched in my mind.

As an aside, keep in mind my mechanical engineering background. If its a machine, I will love it. If its a weapon of war, dump truck, pencil sharpener, or silicon chip factory, I'm entranced.

So Values Don't Count?

(Yes they do, now stop it! Note to self - Never use format again. It's creating anxiety and I'm here alone. Am I a candidate for therapy or what?)

For example, if I owned one of these, I would NOT be flying around shooting at things. If it were wartime, I would be flying the photo reconnaissance version. So in my warped mind, there is no conflict. So, look for a new picture of a P-38 next year.

A Rare Political Comment From Father Time

My first presidential election involved Richard Nixon vs John Kennedy in 1960.

For the chronologically gifted, that also means I've seen:
Johnson-Goldwater
Nixon-Humphrey
Nixon-McGovern
Carter-Ford
Reagan-Carter
Reagan-Mondale
Bush I-Dukakis
Clinton-Bush I
Clinton-Dole
Bush II-Gore
Bush II-Kerry
and now Obama-McCain.

Notice carefully the pendulum swinging from right to left and back again. Notice too, despite the claims of the losing party that the end of the known civilized world was at hand, we are still here doing business.

Maybe we aren't the sharpest, most effective, most innovative, or best loved (or feared if that's your bag) country in the world, but we are still here. And compared to most of the rest of the world we are, as a people, pretty well off.

The pendulum swung again yesterday just as it will again 4-8 years down the road. Get ready to enjoy the ride on the swing; it'll be fun!

Note to Fly. The "feared country" part was specially inserted to acknowledge your unique perspective on the world.

Trapped By Mother Nature

Continuing my outdoor theme from the previous post, I want to share something interesting I discovered about fish in Pamelia Lake. It's about the Cutthroat trout found there. The question was, how did relatives of the salmon family end up isolated in a lake at least one hundred miles from their nearest relatives.

How Did They Get There?

According to the US Forest Service biologists, this species originally swam upstream thousands of years just prior to the last Ice Age. Then, when a huge glacier carved out Pamelia Lake valley, it created a modest-sized lake without an above-the-ground outlet. So, the melting snow pack which drains into Pamelia Lake has to go underground through porous volcanic rock to emerge later some distance from the lake shore and become the headwaters for Pamelia Creek. In the process, Cutthroat trout swimming in the lake have ended up landlocked and trapped without a path back downstream.

Good News or Bad News?

Depending on your point of view, it's both. Being landlocked, the Cutthroat originally had plenty of natural food but only enough for a reasonable population. But now, because of the limited volume of water, the lake is home to a huge population of stunted Cutthroats surviving on what has become a limited supply of food. The good news is that fishing this lake is not unlike shooting fish in a barrel. Plus, the south end of the lake is home to a pair of bald eagles who work very hard trying to keep the fish population under control. Incidentally, they are very happy eagles!

And This Means?

Fish for breakfast, lunch, and dinner for the lucky hiker who happens to know where Pamelia is located and just happens to carry a fly rod. I wonder who that could be?

Mother Nature - Developer, Architect, Builder

Oregon's Back Woods

One of my favorite hiking spots is Pamelia Lake in the Mt Jefferson Wilderness. Getting to the lake entails a 10 mile drive on a Forest Service Road to the trailhead, and then hiking about 2.5 miles to the lake. The hike gains about 600 feet in altitude so youngsters like myself find it slow going. Slow is synonymous for "time to ponder life and all its perplexing questions."


Blow Down Pick Up Sticks

The hike starts with a nice path through the woods but soon becomes a tangle of blown down trees. The high number of "blow downs" resulted from extraordinarily heavy snows last winter followed by moderately warm temperatures. The heavy loads of snow on the shallow rooted trees left tangles of huge tress propped up at crazy angles everywhere. Luckily, the Forest Service, with the help of volunteers, has cleared the path to the lake but left behind a bizarre landscape of crazily tilting trees interspersed with huge fallen ones. The sight is absolutely surreal.

Boulder City

Then came the boulders, rocks, and gravel. I'd been up this trail several times in past years but with the heavy devastation caused by the blow downs, the trail has been diverted through areas that resemble gigantic economy size gravel pits. Keep in mind that these remnants of the last ice age are even older than me! It almost started me thinking about global warming but I quickly turned my mind to more pleasant philosophical thoughts and away from ugly political issues.

Tranquility In Abundance

Finally, after huffing and puffing my way uphill for over an hour, my reward was the lake itself. Pamelia is pristine in every way, unspoiled by humankind, and so quiet one can hear ones heart beating. I stood there for at least two minutes listening for anything - a bird, a fish jumping, a flies buzzing around, the rustling of wind blowing through the trees. Nothing! Absolutely nothing! Now, think of that when you're ready to throw a rock through your TV screen after the umpteenth negative political ad! So, there is a place you can go and hear absolutely nothing without going to a clinic for a hearing test. I find it simply amazing that Mother Nature thought of it first.

This is one of the places I go when my batteries need recharging. I wish I had learned about this place when I was much younger. In retrospect however, I doubt I would have appreciated it then as much as I do now. Sometimes batteries need replacement. Sometimes they need to be recharged. Thankfully, I fall in the latter category and plan on continuing my hunt for solitude amidst the chaos around me. Too bad one can't make a living do that.

Back In The Saddle (For Awhile*)

This was the longest summer ever! With remodeling, hiking, some not-for-profit volunteer work, and a mini health scare, my days flew by. Now that the health issue is resolved and the remodels are completed, I'm slipping back into a more normal routine.

So that means my long neglected blog can play catch up. Join me for the ride!

* My research on the use of the word "awhile" can be found here. Don't you just love it when old people discover something new?

Whew!

Father Time's still alive but moving at a slower pace. This week I'll finally have time to update you on a few of the more interesting events that consumed most of my time for the past 30 days.

Clearly, some of the things that transpired can't be described as interesting, but are definitely semi-gruesome in nature. We'll spare you details in an effort to maintain, at the very least, a site with a modicum of good taste. Won't that be nice for a change? Maybe an even better question would be, "Does Father Time understand the meaning of "in good taste?"

OK, we'll quit now while we're ahead. I dearly love to change from third person to first person, and back again. Must be a sickness of some sort.

Is This Progress or Not?

The Problem With "Before" and "After" Pictures

When I took these two photos, my objective was to show progress on my kitchen remodel. But the question becomes, "Which cupboards are before the remodel and which are after?" Obviously, the question hinges on personal taste.

Those who know me are aware of my preference for Shaker inspired design. Now....using that as a hint, is it easier to determine which picture shows the new cabinets?

If not, send $1.00 and a Wheaties boxtop to Who Cares?, P.O. Box 123, Boring, Oregon 90210, for the correct answer. Then you too can enjoy inner peace along with Father Time.

Updates For Those Who Are Interested

What's Going On Now?
When I started this blog, my goal was to create a kind of "road map" of my retired life. As the new path ahead of me unfolded, I wanted to use this to track my varied interests and activities. Now, almost three years later, I've discovered some immediate family and a few good friends read it on occasion, using it as a means of making sure I'm alive and well. When I don't post, they become concerned.

OK, since I'm a humanitarian at heart, I thought it would be fun and informative to randomly post an update of what's going on up here in the land of gray rain. (Today is August 20th and it's rainy and gray, following a 100 degree heat wave this past weekend! Thank goodness for "gray rain.") By randomly I'm suggesting that these updates will occur when I find some spare time. Read on and see why "spare time" is becoming a joke!

So What's New - Or Old?
Kitchen remodel is 45% Complete. I was going to include pictures of before and after but for some weird reason, Google won't let me upload them. No, there are no nude pictures of anyone since that would change the entire character of this place! So, whatever their reasons, my pictures will be uploaded here when the censors decide that my kitchen cabinets are not some sort of terrorist threat!

Backpacking in Jefferson Park is temporarily on hold due to our really unusual weather this year. First, we had snow at 5,000 feet until late July. Since my planned campsite was as 5,600 feet, snow camping in July was not a priority! Then, when the snow did melt, the mosquitoes were out in full force. So, new plan - go in September right after the remodel in complete. Oh yeah!

The famous ceiling cave-in is now history and has become yet another re-modeling project. For starters, the ceiling in one of our downstairs bedrooms developed a large bulge and with a little poking and prodding from Father Time, became an indoor storm. No lightening but plenty of rain! The culprit was a pipe in our master bedroom bath that had sprung a leak. When our plumber started digging around, we found other copper pipes in the same area with lots of little corrosion spots - cause unknown. So, after consulting with Ms Time, a decision was made to replace the old fiberglass shower, replace every pipe we could see, and install a really nice "man-made" marble shower. That project is underway and at this point, with both the kitchen and the bathroom in a state of total disorder, law and order does not describe our home! "Oh yeah" one more time!

And finally, a surprise from inside. Inside my body that is. For the past couple of months, I've had some short episodes of a racing heart beat. They lasted about 15 seconds or so, but were becoming more frequent. Not being a hero, I went to see my friendly doctor. After a couple of tests and a thorough debriefing of my eating habits, he suggested I cut back on my coffee. I did. It's been two weeks since my last episode with NASCAR Heart. End of story.

End of update. I'll do this again when things look, smell, feel, and sound better.

Stay tuned!

Lastest From Joey

 
Some of you may remember we rescued a Shetland Sheep Dog three years ago. At first, I updated the blog monthly while we searched for his true personality. Later, as is my style, I either became lazy or preoccupied with my next adventure and didn't say too much about him.

So, as repentance for my wayward writing habits, here's the latest picture of Joey. His coat is much fuller, and he's fully recovered from the horrible matted fur his past owners' treatment caused. He's still a little shy, which is typical of his breed, but he realizes he has found a good home and is clearly thankful for our hospitality.

He has one characteristic which can be bothersome at times. He feels his role is to act as our early warning system for anything within 100' of our house. This includes cats, deer, and kids on bicycles. When he detects the intrusion of evil near our premises, he cuts loose with a piercing series of barks that only Shelties can produce. Once we acknowledge his disruptive behavior, he quiets right down and goes back to sleep. In other words, it's Father Time's job to rid the house of evil spirits. Joey's only job is to make sure I'm doing my job.

Fear not! Father Time shall prevail - maybe!

Transition

The Loss of Another Great Friend
Art was always the same; he greeted you with a big smile and his ever-present twinkling eyes. You knew from the beginning this man was special.

Mrs. Time considered him her second father, (and not because he needed another daughter. He already had four!) In her formative years he made sure she was included in most of their family outings and gatherings. When she moved on to college, he was there to make sure she didn't end up being "all work and no play." When she needed help and counsel in her early married years, he was there as part of her support system. After she met and married Father Time (OK, so he wasn't a good judge of character!) he added me to his list of friends and confidants.

Now here's the scary part - because I worked for a bank, by default I became his source of all wisdom and knowledge when it came to investments. Despite the fact that all my training was in commercial lending, he considered me his financial guru. OK. I will admit that a couple of my recommendations went well, but trust me - it was sheer luck. Nonetheless, whenever we met, we always spent 20 minutes catching up on our lives and kids, and then invariably he hit me with this question. "Now, what should I be buying now to make some money?"

Saying Goodbye
This past weekend,(Aug.1-3) we attended his funeral. It was very traditional which is something not often seen these days. After a church ceremony, he was buried with both military honors and the Masonic Scottish Rite ceremony. The list of his accomplishments is lengthy but the real proof of his life and his character was fully evident at a celebration of his life afterwards. Art and his wife Dorothy raised four daughters and a son, and grandchildren and great grandchildren too numerous to count. The sound of laughter and heart-warming conversations about things he said and did were in evidence everywhere.

The only thing missing was Art. He would have loved it. I even missed the ever present question; "What should I be buying now to make some money?" By the way, it was always said with a twinkle in his eyes that said, "Don't worry. If you're wrong it's only money!"

Farewell To A Great Friend

His name was Zippy. He didn't get his name because he was as slim and svelte as a greyhound, but because his tail never stopped twitching back and forth. His tail was a prime example of living perpetual motion.

He could move fast when necessary, but only if fun was the end game. For instance, if something was being dragged across the floor, he would wake up out of a sound sleep and pounce on it. Several of my leather belts have scratches on the ends as a testament to his vigilance and my sloppy early morning dressing habits.

His greatest feat occurred several years ago when our garden was attacked by moles. One morning as I was leaving for work, there were three dead moles lined up in a row on the driveway in front of the garage door, their heads pointing in the same direction. I felt better knowing I was not the only anal person in our household.

Mrs. Time will miss him greatly. Each morning Zippy would help himself to a big drink of water using whatever droplets were left over in the shower. After a quick clean up, he would jump up on the bed where Mrs. Time was reading and want a warm coffee cup massage. We knew he was in trouble two weeks ago when we noticed his tail wasn't twitching and he couldn't jump up on the bed.

The vet said it was some sort of mysterious neurological problem that was attacking his spine. First his tail went dead, then his right hind leg, and finally his left hind leg. It was progressing quickly and it was clear his days were numbered. Reluctantly, Mrs. Time and I went to the vet's office today and said goodbye to our faithful friend. It was one of the hardest things we've ever done.

Zippy, wherever you go, you will welcomed with open arms and loved dearly. It will automatically become a better place and no doubt be free of moles. There may or may not be a heaven for humans but I have no doubt there's a cool place for cats like you! Line 'em up big guy!

Serupticiously Becoming A Building Contractor

What Happened?

For the past several months, I have been planning a simple kitchen remodel. The most complex aspect of the project would be arriving at a amicable agreement with Mrs Time over color, lighting, cupboard design, and wood finish. I was hoping for a contemporary look, while Mrs Time wanted a more traditional feel. So we turned to our kids for additional opinions. Both of them demonstrated strong feelings that can be best described as, "Whatever."

Thus through this arduous process of give-and-take, we arrived a the final design - the more traditional feel. Clearly, my skills as a negotiator served me well. I caved on almost every area to maintain domestic harmony. Am I good or what?

The Fun Begins

The removal of the fluorescent lights to make way for track lighting revealed the former owners of the house had installed the lights themselves without assistance of an electrician. The four large fixtures covered up non-code wiring, wallboard cracks and holes, and with two of four fixtures, no electrical boxes to secure the wires! There were just holes poked in the ceiling with protruding wires that were so unbelievably unsafe I can't believe we lived here 18 years without an electrical failure or fire.

The solution - call in an electrician to rewire the whole thing, then a dry wall contractor to replace and refinish all of the cracked areas, and we should be looking good! In case you're keeping score, we now have two sub-contractors gainfully employed.

The Ceiling Caves In

That is not a figurative expression - it's the real thing! Apparently a water supply pipe between floors sprung a leak, causing a ceiling to partially collapse in one of our spare bedrooms. So, add a plumber to the mix. We decided that since we had some of the water pipes available for inspection, why not open it up even more and look at the other pipes? A little preventative maintenance before closing up the ceiling made sense. Incidentally, sense and cents sound alike but when it comes to sub-contractors, it should be sense and dollars - many of them!

Since we were looking at all the cool pipes running between floors, Mrs Time suggested this would be a great time to replace the entire shower stall in the master bath! $$$$$ later, another contractor enters the mix. This time we have a small project remodeler who will take over the shower stall and pipe replacement project, freeing me to return to the kitchen extravaganza. We'll use his dry wall crew to also repair the kitchen ceiling after the electrical guys finish their work.

I think this is what modern management consultants refer to as "synergy." It's so cool to be "modern."

Happy Ending

In the meantime, I keep busy building the new cabinets in the workshop and taking phone calls from sub-contractors who are called away on emergencies, (read "more lucrative") jobs. I'm sure this is only the first chapter in the remodeling adventure, and depending on my propensity to locate sources of stress, will be followed by at least four more chapters. Whether I have the stomach to write about any new disasters remains to be seen. Don't stay tuned. It may take awhile. Whoops! Gotta run answer the phone!

"Hello Max, how are you? Oh really? His whole house is flooded? That's a shame. See you in two weeks."

Are Big Cars A Thing Of The Past?

Please don't let this be a trend,
Apparently, Mercedes Benz still feels there is a place for large, I.E. expensive, automobiles in our future. For example, here's something they whipped up recently in their design studios.It almost looks like one of those big Chevrolet Impalas from 50's doesn't it?

Now, here's the really interesting part - the interior.
Specifically, note the driver's side. No steering wheel! In other words, this car will be a gamer's delight. If you're skilled at "Grand Theft Auto IV", you're right at home. Ironically, the new X-Box version of NASCAR requires a steering wheel. Isn't it fun to watch industry thrash around trying to find a lucrative marketing niche?

Would Father Time ever buy one of these?
Let's see. How should I answer that? How about a resounding, "NO!"

Family

What's The Clan Up To Now?

Well, let's start with the new and progress quickly to the ancient. That makes sense to me but I'm open to other people's ideas as long as they agree with mine. I'm open minded if nothing else.

NASCAR Sister and Cool Dude

A few posts back I mentioned that my favorite relatives are now retired. But check this out! This picture was attached to an recent e-mail from NASCAR Sister. My first reaction was, "What the heck?" Am I a victim of the dreaded "paradigm shift" or did my sister win the lottery?

Before she sent this picture, I considered my life modest but comfortable. I was a prototypical middle class retired guy. But now, have I somehow been recklessly tossed into an entirely new socio-economic demographic? Am I actually somewhere between homeless and just plain old poverty?. Am I in some kind of time warp? More importantly, what kind of pensions do municipal workers in North Carolina get?

This just in: Buried in the fine print of the e-mail was a note that this was a picture of a nice area taken during one of my sister's frequent sight-seeing tours.

I can breathe again without pangs of envy. I am a lousy envious person. Sibling rivalry? What are you talking about?

Last Out Of The Nest

Yes! He's on his way to independence. He has a job.
Let me ask one (and only one,) question. Did you ever have a teacher this young? When I went to school, teachers used to have gray hair and wear sturdy shoes. Yes, back in my day we had to walk to school through the snow, uphill both ways, yada, yada, yada. On a "younger" note, as long as the pay check can be redeemed for cash, I will never be critical!

Congratulations Big Guy! You are the greatest.

For A Later Post

I will share Father Time's misadventures with home improvement. Watch for Killer Kitchen Kapers which, in retrospect, is a really lame title. How about Father Time Tests His Frustration Quotient With Inept Construction Techniques?

Much better!

Just Because

Two Posts In Two Days? What's Wrong?

Nothing is wrong. Just because I switched my brand of coffee doesn't mean I'm more energized in the morning. Just because my kitchen remodel is going badly and is days behind schedule doesn't mean I wake up early and race to the workshop (at least not on weekends.) Just because the ceiling crashed in one of my downstairs bedrooms due to a copper pipe failure doesn't mean I'm stressed out. AND........just because the snow pack in the Cascades is so heavy I've had to postpone my four-day backpacking trip to Mount Jefferson doesn't mean I'm frustrated. Angry? Yes. Frustrated? No.

Trucks And Their Offspring

The old red Sonoma is getting kind of arthritic. What to do? Look for a new vehicle that will take me up into the foothills without costing me an IRA distribution each trip. Have you noticed that 4-cylinder engines are now more costly than V-6's or V-8's? If I wait long enough I can probably buy a Hemi for pennies on the dollar and do an engine swap. Might not make sense gas mileage wise but it sure would be fun passing a Mercedes with my old beater truck.

Dream on old man, dream on!

New Look - New Direction

The Umpteenth Shift Of Focus

I've done this before so I'm doing it again.

Once again I've lost my blogging motivation. And again, I've resorted to an old reliable cure - a quick and dirty review of my settled-in life as a retired person. Not surprisingly, it revealed I'm busier than ever and still blessed with a solid immune system that rejects everything nasty and makes each day a delight.

Therefore, (and this has nothing to do with the above) I'm going to proceed with a half-diary, half-opinion format. This is good news for anyone who cares to know what I'm doing with my time, and bad news for those who stumble by here looking for exciting and enlightening topics.

In advance, let me apologize to my friends who occasionally visit here. If my constant bobbing and weaving is becoming bothersome, just be thankful there are thousands of other web sites that can offer you respite.

So that's it. Let's see what develops this time and how long it lasts! I'm excited again and that's what's important here at the place.

Why We Won WW II

The Competition

Here are some fine examples of state of the art aircraft design - circa 1940. Clearly, these foreign aircraft demonstrate backward thinking by their respective engineering teams. Notice how the German plane's design is based on dated concepts. An example is the failed attempt at streamlining the landing gear to project an image of speed even though the landing gear is entirely concealed when the plane is in flight. Sad indeed.

The Japanese Zero is basically a large engine with small wings and tail attached. Pity the poor pilot who tried to tame this beast! The pilot surely felt like he was riding on the end of a lion tamer's whip. Neck injuries among Japanese pilots must have reached epidemic proportions.

So Here Was Our Answer

When you consider the US employed its best and brightest, there's no question that our fighter plane designs were superior from the get go. Notice the beauty of the sweeping clean lines, the unobstructed view the pilot had of every inch of this nimble craft - truly classic proportions which translated into superior performance.

This is just another example of what a nation can do when pushed to the brink. Proof again that "commitee think" produces superior results!

Fly Specs

I had breakfast with The Fly. Since he picked up the tab, I hereby challenge Fly to an online debate: Election 2008 - Common Sense vs Creative Problem Solving. Pick your side and I will happily (bury) debate the other side for at least two posts!

Out

NASCAR Sister Retires

Sad But True
At the end of March, Father Time's sister retired from job as a waitress at Capt'n Jack's House Of Liver, the finest eating establishment in Bald Knob. She will be missed by all of the regulars, but no one will miss her more than Louie, Alphonse, and Ezekiel, or as the locals call them - The Savory Brothers. (That's because their last name is Herb.) None of us like change and certainly the Savory's are prime examples of people who detest change.

The Savory Brothers
Since the brothers have never left Bald Knob, NASCAR Sister asked me, as a favor, to publish their pictures here on a big time blog for the first time. The first picture is Alphonse who is the youngest Savory brother. He has a great sense of humor and only wears clothes from K-Mart, which makes him a hit with older women. Alphonse is also the only Savory known to have the ability to dribble. His talent for water sports attracted several major university water polo coaches, but unfortunately, none was able to offer him a scholarship. Nevertheless, Alphonse went on to be a success as the General Manager of the Bald Knob Feathered Fiends, our local semi-amateur Lawn Dart team.

Next we see Louie. Louie Savory is a little different than the other two brothers but we are assured by Dr. Spite, our local chiropractor, Louie is indeed a Savory sort since Dr. Spite delivered all of the Savory boys.
Over the years there have been numerous questions about Louie. First, he grew a beard long before he entered puberty. Second, his ears weren't like the other two brothers. To settle the controversy, Dr. Spite conducted a DNA test on all three and concluded they indeed were located somewhere on the family tree, but from which branch was beyond the realm of modern science. Since Dr. Spite was a learned man, the townspeople accepted his findings and the brothers have spent their lives in Bald Knob with minimal controversy.


And finally we have Ezekiel M. Savory, the oldest brother. (The "M" stands for Methuselah, the Savory's father.) Dad Savory soon realized he had his work cut out when he saw Ezekiel in the nursery for the first time. Clearly, there was not enough money in the universe to perform all the plastic surgery necessary to make Ezekiel handsome enough to attract a bride. So old Methuselah sent Ezekiel to an Egyptian monastery where he trained to become a martial arts referee. Even though he failed, he returned to Bald Knob where he is now the town's only Commodore computer repairman.

At Any Rate
More about NASCAR Sister's fabulous life in a future post. There is just SO much good stuff she did that Father Time has no idea where to start.

But I will!

So Much To Do

The Usual Excuses
(I should just make a macro out of this part. Would save a lot of time!)
Boy have I ever been sloughing off and neglecting my blog. I know this isn't something new but someday I must slow down! At any rate, what's been going on here in the beautiful Northwest?
Woodworking
Get ready to snore.I've been looking for a particular type of older wood plane on E-Bay for the past four months. I finally found one in Ohio that was for sale at a very reasonable price. It arrived March 28th and in now known as Dad's "Obsession" by my family. They can make fun of me if they want, but little do they know my passion for fluffy shavings. But that's a conversation for my therapist and me so let's move on!

The Deer "Fence"
Works like a charm. Not a single deer in my yard for over three weeks! That means only one thing - fresh fruits and vegetables from Father (and Mother)Time's garden this year. It does bother me, however, when I see them peeking through the wires and licking their chops. It bothers me for almost 15 seconds. And then I smile.

Backpacking
The weather is getting warmer and that means the snow will be melting soon. Then watch me stop blogging for months at a time. Oh ya! New lightweight low-temp sleeping bag and one-person tent, plus a weather radio to be tested soon. Have all my GPS points plotted on a map and downloaded to my receiver. If I get lost, it will because I forgot something esoteric like my compass or eyeglasses.

Enough already
I agree. It's time to hustle off and do something useful in the workshop. Today might be a good day to move forward on my Adirondack chair rebuild project. This time, new stainless steel screws, waterproof glue, and a thorough sanding to remove the ancient looking silver color Mother Nature inflicted upon them. Then the obligatory picture will be included on the blog so those of you who read this drivel can pat me on the back. It will be a poignant moment! Gag

First Inning - Father Time 1 - Deer 0

The Game Is On!
As I described in my last post, the solution to yard and garden preservation was to increase the height of my chain-link fence and prevent the local deer herd from getting in. The actual "increase" was accomplished by bolting pieces of 3/4" electrical conduit to my fence posts, and then stringing wire through holes drilled in the conduit. Our local university extension service suggested putting white flags at regular intervals to prevent the deer from attempting to jump the fence at night when the wires are not visible. For you macho types out there, (are you listening Fly?) a possible modification would be to substitute razor wire and then get ready to enjoy some venison steaks this summer. But since my household includes a dog and two cats adopted from our local Humane Society, you can bet that won't happen here!

Remember. It's just the first inning!
I'll keep you posted if the score changes!

Mission accomplished - I think.

Mother Nature 2 - Father Time 0

Mother Nature kicks sand in my face.
For the past five years, White-tailed deer have easily jumped the 5' chain-link fence surrounding my garden and orchard. Once inside, they feast on my apples, strawberries, rose bushes, and beans. In short, they leave me no choice but to purchase my produce at the local supermarket!

Father Time's devious plan
Following a neighbor's lead, I'm re-engineering my fence and raising the height to 10'. Yesterday I purchased the necessary materials (poles, wires, and fasteners) to increase the overall height and, simultaneously, create a hazard to low flying aircraft.

"Yes", I silently bragged to myself, "Only Olympic qualified deer will get in here now!"

The deer's devious plan
As I was attaching the first pole to the fence with industrial-strength u-bolts, I happened to look over at my neighbor's yard. Unbelievably, FIVE deer were resting in his yard, contentedly munching grass and watching me work!

OK, I've worked in front of an audience before but this was a bit much. Then as if to mock me, the largest deer looked right at me and, I swear, smiled at me!

I could hear him saying, "Bring it on old man. When you're done, we'll still jump over!" Now, to say I was shocked would be a masterpiece of understatement. On the other hand, I'm a calm deliberate person, so I did what any semi-intelligent person would do - I stuck my tongue out at him!

Father Time counter punches
After a little research on the Internet, I've discovered that once I've raised the height of the fence, I should attach 2' white streamers on the top wire every five feet along the entire length of the fence. For reasons known only to deer, this will absolutely keep them at bay. In the meantime, my home will look like a used car lot having a clearance sale.

Other than a few meaningless class-action law suits from neighbors, the next move is up the the deer.

This isn't over yet!
Once the fence is complete, I will share photos of the deer and the fence here on the blog. They will also be used in court as defense exhibits.

Father Time will prevail!

A Time To Blog

Where does the time go?
This blog must feel like an orphan. Unless I make a note on my "To Do" list, it gets lost in the shuffle. As it turns out, my retirement should be measured in mph's rather than days or months.

At any rate................what's new?

BackpackingMy trip to the Jefferson Wilderness is definitely on for late May or early June. As some of you may know, I obtained the GPS coordinates for several places used by our local university's atmospheric research team to record glacial activities on Mt Jefferson. By measuring the distance from these waypoints to the glacier's current position (using the GPS of course), along with the date and time of the measurement, a data base is being developed of the glacier's movements over extended periods of time. This will supplement their research into the development of a global warming model. Because of the limits of telemetry, and the remote locations, volunteers are needed to help fill in the gaps in their data base. Those who know me well, realize my middle name is "volunteer." The Army taught me nothing!

Fly Fishing
Guess what I'm doing when I'm not fooling around with glaciers? You're right - fishing in the lakes fed by the glacial runoff! A brand-new five-piece pack rod that weighs in at less than a pound - including foam carrying case, reel, line, and flies. Now I don't have to pay for my morning and evening brookies by toting an extra few pounds up the trail. Life is good.

Woodworking
Right now I'm reorganizing the shop to get rid of things I will never work on, building a proper storage rack for my inventory of wood, and setting up my machines differently to facilitate work flow. I hear you yawning. Moving on!

Hospice
Right now I have two of the greatest patients I have ever worked with - one a biker and the other a retired insurance person. So far, my Hospice experience has been unbelievably educational. I have learned more about other people's life styles and experiences than one could possibly imagine. Absolutely outstanding and right up there with some of the most stimulating interactions with humans I have ever experienced.

And last but not least - Volunteer "Boardism"
Maddening at times but rewarding in hindsight. I'm helping out a local DDR foster care organization with its finances and investments. Reminds me of why I got into that line of work in the first place. My internal hard drive is not maxed out either - that was a concern. In the words of Maxwell Smart - "and loving it!"

Miscellaneous Stuff
Almost forgot! Just remembered that someone has to do dishes, a little laundry, and fix dinner. Humbling but necessary.

Now you know why the blog has been orphaned. Sad but true and I wouldn't have it any other way!

Definition Of Awesome

OK. I've reflected, chosen my resolutions, and am ready to move on. Let me demonstrate.

A Video Is Worth One Hundred Words!

I could bore you with a flood of adjectives but this video does a much better job and ie entertaining to boot.



Now, is that "awesome" or what?

The defense rests!

Time To Reflect

The Problem
Emme (see comments on last post) asks a good question. "What are your New Year's resolutions?" My response? That's a fair question with a less than satisfactory answer.

I've been postponing making any resolutions while I mull over some exciting, labor intensive, overly ambitious, and totally ludicrous goals. Why make them when I know up front they'll never be accomplished?

Possible Goals
(Remember, these are only live in my mind right now. Don't expect to see pictures taken from the far corners of the earth or anything exotic. My goals are geographically bounded by the borders of the USA.)

1. Backpack into the Mt Jefferson Wilderness and actually see, and possibly touch, a glacier. Since they may not be with us in a few years, I need to do this fairly soon.

2. Build an authentic Shaker-style dining table and six chairs to replace the ugly factory bought stuff we currently own. Makes me crazy just walking by them every day!

3. Retool the workshop. Totally overhaul it with a well-planned layout that makes optimum use of the available space.

4. Help the non-profit board I'm involved with streamline it's financial operations and investment portfolio. (Some of you may think that sounds boring. If you do, you really don't know me that well. I think it's fun! Sick, sick man you say? Yup!)

5. Take a long overdue vacation to Mendocino, California Explore the Northern California coastline and drink my way through the miles of wineries in Anderson Valley.

So?
Given more time, my resolutions should "go public" in a couple of weeks. Until then, the blog may be a little slow, but that describes me perfectly!